You have a date with her every night at 9 (8 central). Sometimes you even watch her in bed. You wish you could run your fingers through her short, shellacked for tv hair, but you know there are thousands of LEDs between the two of you. You're a Rachel Maddow Show viewer. Debunction Junction? Old hat. Sending you to prison at the end of every Friday night episode? Wow, you are a hardcore fan. You know she's not just the news--she's how you understand the news. She's the queen of cable and of your heart. Now show off how much you worship her! Wear her on your chest like a care bear. Super power--brains. I presented you with this unusually long intro in order to give you the history necessary for understanding HOW MUCH YOU NEED THIS DESIGN! Rachel would want it that way.
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Tags: wwe, pro-wrestling, wrestler, fake-news, politics