Provincetown Laptop Cases
Look, I don't know who you "Lords of Hell" think you are, but you're messing with the wrong 24 year-old actress playing a high school student! Besides, your cute little knife is no match for the hammer of Thor! That's right! Beat it! You're just lucky I gotta get these kids home before curfew.
Tags: gay, adventures-in-babysitting, 1980s, lgbt, babysitter
Tired of the same old gaycations? Then travel to beautiful Jupiter! This is a gas giant that isn't afraid of showing off it's bubbly side. The days are only 9 hours long, which means you get to enjoy Jupiter's famous nightlife every 4.5 hours! That's how it works, right? Right! Meet a handsome local on one of Jupiter's many fabled beaches. Enjoy the indigenous cuisine. Or relax at one of Jupiter's luxurious five-star resorts. Warning: Jupiter's atmospheric conditions may not be suitable for all species, so speak to your doctor and decide if a Jupiter vacation is right for you. Jupiter: number five from the sun, number one in our hearts.
Tags: jupiter, alien, speedo, lgbt, provincetown
Dorothy Jane Torkelson: "Man on the moon, there was a lengthy discussion at the dinner table tonight about why I'm so enamored with leather daddies. Mama thinks it's because she always took in swarthy drifters, but I think it's my love of polishing shoes and my interest in truck stop cuisine and my fondness for amyl nitrite. What I mean to say, man on the moon, is that I love you because you're you. All 14.6 million square miles of you. Woof."
Tags: woof, naked, lgbt, new-york, san-francisco
Resisting the urge to type out the lyrics to "Shoop" here. Ahhh! Niece my witness. Err! Can I get some fries. EEK! Yum yum chocolate chip. GAH! MAKE ME WANNA SCREAM OOH OOH I LIKE WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU DO WHAT YOU DO YOU MAKE ME WANNA SHOOP! ::shrugs::
Tags: diva, folsom, provincetown, lesbian, spinderella
Tired of wearing apparel that has misogynistic undertones? Do all other designs suck when you feel like blowing daddy's cash? If you answer yes to any of these questions, then throw your balled up bills Amber's way! Other reasons to buy her: she's good at making a "W' out of her fingers, so she's dexterous, and she had to work with Stacey Dash, so you know she's patient.
Tags: movie, plastic-surgery, 90s, gay, 90s-movies
Ah, summer in the Catskills. We were young and innocent. And then the help started thrusting their pelvic bones and everything went to hell. "Dirty Dancing." More like "Parentally Sanctioned *Dry-Hump* Movie the Babysitter Put on to Keep Me and My Sister Occupied," am I right? Anyway, help yourself to the watermelon.
Tags: funny, dirty, catskills, san-francisco, provincetown
"I SEE ME!" Of course I'm in a million pieces now, so I see me all over. That's perfectly fine. If death becomes me and death becomes her, it'll certainly become you. Question is, are you wealthy enough to afford the elixir? ::Sigh:: Who am I fooling? What I need more than anything now is a broom and a dustpan. Unh!
Tags: gay, movie, nostalgia, provincetown, lgbt
What do people want more than a new single from Beyoncé? A cute ginger! Which means NOW is the time to show off your gingercorn status! Kick up them hooves, throw on some apparel by Hoagiemouth and power on that Beyoncé fan cause that ginger mane is thirsty for freedom, henny!
Tags: pride, gay, ginger, boystown, provincetown
You know you've wanted to deck old Ouiser Boudreaux ever since she called the cops on you for skinny dipping in the waterhole. Sure, when you say "Hit this" you're usually talking about something else, but you're a dandy. Dandies love a good cat fight. And track lighting. Cat fights and track lighting.
Tags: chick-flick, funny, lgbt, gay-bear, flirt
"Brute Enforcement Augers Reality." Um. No. How about "Brenda, Earrings Are Real!" Definitely not. What about "Breeding Eagerly And Readily." Oh heavens. You know what it is. It's a play on those old D.A.R.E. kid drugs and booze shirts, only hairier. And boozier.
Tags: nostalgia, pride, 80s, 90s, folsom
Girl, have you clocked Susan Saranwrap's cliffhangers? I haven't seen such busted man hooves since Sharia Law stomped that stage. Of course Susan's drag mother is Tara Nass, so cliffhangers must run in the family. For real though, I think I see mountain goats jumping around her feet. And are they filming a Ricola commercial on her big toe? No! It's a Hoveround commercial. Aww, I love old people! Oh! She's coming. Hi, Susan! You look great!
Tags: fashion, gay, merch, drag, san-francisco
That's what I'm talking about! The ORIGINAL queen of the night. Don't let the scales fool you--she is a PRO-FES-SIO-NAL. I wonder who did her cheeks. They look good though, right? No her first name ain't Lady Gremlin, it's Greta. QUEEN if you're nasty.
Tags: provincetown, pop-culture, female-gremlins, 80s-movies, gay-bear
Do you order up the sampler platter and snout those poppers like a truffle hunting sow? Do you send them back if they are not ooey and gooey enough? Do you want to see some stretch when you nibble? If you answered "That'll do, pig" to any of the preceding questions, congratulations! You're a poppers pig. Now stuff those jalapenos with cheese, batter 'em down, fry 'em up til they're golden brown, and pop 'em in your face hole while wearing this charming design as a bib! Only then will that do, pig.
Tags: folsom, kink, fire-island, provincetown, gay-otter
Oh Gabriel. Poor, dear Gabriel. Some tricks are meant to remain tricks. Here you are all "ENTER YOU! VOILA IT'S SHOWTIME!" when really you should be cowering in the corner wearing safety goggles to keep the you know what out of your eyes. That's just my two cents. Cute shirt though.
Tags: coco, peru, cum, pride, trick
I'm sorry, but those two pinks clearly look nothing alike, mama. My colors are BLUSH and BASHFUL. Don't you work me up now. You know what happens when you work me up, mama. Oh no. My sugars. My sugars, mama! Juice! I need my juice, mama! Mama! SIKE! I got you, mama! You should see yourself. Who's blush and bashful now? ::death drop:: :/
Tags: southern, pink, wedding, southern-pride, blush
You don't get cute, you get DROP DEAD GORGEOUS! And let me guess, your talent is cheerleading? God you look a lot like Amy Adams! Anyway, good luck with the Mount Rose American Teen Princess Pageant! I'm sure you'll knock 'em dead with your new duds (and exploding swan).
Tags: 90s, gay, funny, mount-rose-american-teen-princess, minnesota