Alliance 1313 Long Sleeve T-Shirts

By wearing this shirt, you affirm to the outside world that you in no way, shape, or form, admit to being a part of the Illuminati. Definitely. For sure.

Destroying cities is just fine, as long as you're doing it with both manners and style. Monocles help, too.

Are you asexual? Are you aromantic? Are you a literal lion? Then you should wear this shirt! Also, if you're a literal lion, please send photos.

She's cute, she's cuddly, and she'll gore your eyes out if you say she's "just confused."

All Mr. Slice Guy associates must wear Mr. Slice Guy merchandise while on the clock. (Non-associates can wear it too, just don't be surprised if someone asks you to make them a pizza.)

You might not be a wall of muscle, covered in hair, or over 6 feet tall, but maybe by imitating Pigfoot's fashion you can feel like it.