Do you order up the sampler platter and snout those poppers like a truffle hunting sow? Do you send them back if they are not ooey and gooey enough? Do you want to see some stretch when you nibble? If you answered "That'll do, pig" to any of the preceding questions, congratulations! You're a poppers pig. Now stuff those jalapenos with cheese, batter 'em down, fry 'em up til they're golden brown, and pop 'em in your face hole while wearing this charming design as a bib! Only then will that do, pig.
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