"I like big butts" The Sir Mix-a-Lot classic "Baby Got Back" in the Archaic Rap Meme Style. It's a vintage style illustration of a woman wearing an old fashioned dress, the caption in an Old English style font reads "I'm fond of large posteriors and I cannot utter a falsehood."
You don't get cute, you get DROP DEAD GORGEOUS! And let me guess, your talent is cheerleading? God you look a lot like Amy Adams! Anyway, good luck with the Mount Rose American Teen Princess Pageant! I'm sure you'll knock 'em dead with your new duds (and exploding swan).