Kenny The Bartender's Tee Emporium

Description: You're a disc jockey. You know how to spin hot stacks of wax, right? Well then you know how the tables have turned...

Description: You and your boat rock. Especially when you dock successfully!

Description: You're not the only one with anxiety. Join the club!

Description: Your dogs are your children. Don't let anybody, especially a politician, tell you otherwise...

Description: Your cats are your children and don't let anyone, especially a politician, tell you otherwise...

Description: Mind your own damn business and vote!

Description: You're radical, from your skin all the way to your bones!

Description: When it comes to other people's lives, mind your own damn business.

Description: A date that will live forever in movie history.

Description: We can be friends or we can be strangers. It depends on what we're watching on TV, right?

Description: All the grape jelly, raisins, and most importantly, wine, comes from the Planet Of The Grapes. Cheers!

Description: Don't just turn up the volume. Crank it to the max!!

Description: You don't have to drink whiskey today but it's always good to have some ready for tomorrow. Just in case...

Description: Whenever they make a book into a movie, the book always wins...

Description: Hollywood is skin-deep. Skin that's full of Botox and plastic surgery scars...

Description: Money paid to someone to prevent them from disclosing embarrassing or discreditable information.

Description: Life really is a mixtape. Just have a pencil ready, in case it unspools...

Description: My swear jar actually swears, so it's always filled up...

Description: Radiation can create monsters. If it happened with a lizard, it can happen with a squirrel.

Description: Thanks to duct tape, nothing is completely broken. Duct tape fixes everything!!

Description: Some say they give pizza a bad name...

Description: Your Golden might take the midnight train goin' anywhere but they Don't Stop Retrievin'. Woof!

Description: Labs are friendly, outgoing, high-spirited and deserve a really cool design. Woof!

Description: Rats are already super-strong. Throw in some radiation and we're all in BIG trouble...

Description: Johann Sebastian Bach deserves to be immortalized as a classic rock god, complete with lightning bolt & devil horns. Bach rocks!

Description: You're drowning in a sea of grass under a hot summer sun. I bet you can't wait for winter...

Description: What would I do without Florida stories in the news? Love it or not, there's heat, humidity and that "anything goes" attitude, right?

Description: Your grass is baking in the hot summer sun. You have a "Lawn Of The Dead"...

Description: Is it a fork? Is it a spoon? No, it's a 'spork' and it's time we salute the greatest utensil ever created in the history of the world!

Description: Few things in life have the power to fix everything and it's important to identify those things...

Description: Loud noises coming from your car? Just turn up the radio...

Description: Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice, right?

Description: No pressure but if you don't act now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. But, no pressure...

Description: I dream of being a selfie photographer. I can picture myself doing it...

Description: Death is coming for all of us. So instead, I like to think about cute baby chickens!!

Description: Finding a restroom is often the "final frontier" when you're out and about. Good luck with your voyages and may you always "boldly go".