Dk Cards

Description: Kelly does not suffer fools. Fools suffer Kelly. Please direct all complaints to whatever your email address is. No, really, it will get to her.

Description: Scribbelina was a neat freak and she had the OCD to prove it. Why, then, did her life always seem to be unravelling like some sicko’s idea of a made-for-tv holiday movie character?

Description: Phyllis heard her name called and was in a daze. She was not expecting it at all. At least not yet. She walked up to the microphone, feeling like she wasn’t even in her own body. “First of all, it’s an honor just to be here,” she said. The fast food worker handed her her order.

Description: Clark was the runner-up in the 2017 Worst Haircut Competition. His hobbies include running a comb through his second-place coif and blurting out random memories.

Description: D.K. Metcalf Seattle TD Catch

Description: Peter liked fruit better than vegetables. It might not make him special, he knew, but it was an important thing to know about him on a daily basis. Moreso, for example, than the details what he had buried in his basement so many years ago.

Description: Alana had this cute little tick where she would purse her lips and pull them to the side. Eventually it became her personality.

Description: Penny often found herself faced with crippling indecision. Something as simple as choosing a side order could send her into a dissociative state, where she could see herself saying the words, “side salad—no wait—brussels sprouts,” while hovering above her own body.

Description: Mort studied all the time, but never had the grades to show it. Then one day, he let go, and decided to just be happy with who he was. It was the best decision he ever made.

Description: D.K. Metcalf & Tyler Lockett Seattle Duo

Description: Pittsburgh Football

Description: Dervin considered himself a humanist. So much so that he appropriated every culture he encountered. He considered it his version of the Will Rogers saying, “I never met a man I didn’t like.” This is Dervin without dreadlocks.

Description: Hortense gets nervous around things that make him nervous, like products bearing his likeness. Please do not wear Hortense gear around Hortense, you sick little puppy.

Description: Janice looked back fondly on her days working in customer service. After all, had it not been for the incident with the expired receipt and pharmaceutical-grade plutonium, she may never have acquired her superpowers.

Description: Dave was always misplacing things. His keys, his wallet, you name it. Sometimes they were in his pocket. Other times in his vacuum sealed, password protected, underground bunker with time release lock. Those were the days he was late.

Description: Pittsburgh Football

Description: Yvonne had adjusted well to life as a human, even though it hadn’t been so easy. Still, she was occasionally tripped up by the thought that others might notice there was something off about her. They couldn’t, but nonetheless, certain glances made her uneasy.

Description: Carrie carried the weight of the world on her shoulders, a shroud of darkness emanating from her countenance. Her mere presence could drain a room of its energy. Oh, wait, sorry, wrong Carrie. Carrie2 one was pretty much the opposite of that.

Description: Dennings is a cop on the edge, with a history bad paperwork and a trail of ex-wives. Donut jokes don’t fly with him, as he’s a breakfast sandwich man. Ask him if he’s a cannibal. He dares you.

Description: Vivian knows that vegan cheese doesn’t really taste like cheese, but her hope is that if enough people buy into it, the community zeitgeist will make her pizzas taste less disappointing.

Description: Alice was working on her selfie-face, when she was bitten by a radioactive duck. It was mating season and there had been a misunderstanding.

Description: Buddy was no coward, that much was certain. He just had an irrational fear of things most women weren’t afraid of. Purchasing feminine hygiene products for example.

Description: Bernice had come to loathe the internet-based dating scene. Boasting about income is not a personality trait, but rather a personality disorder, she thought, as the latest tech-bro not-so-subtly flashed his Tesla key fob.

Description: Lisa was always up for something new. To her, life was meant to be an adventure and there was no greater tragedy than boredom. It is for this reason she was unsuited for her job as a forensic librarian.

Description: Deidre was starstruck by all things famous. Whether a celebrity, a mascot or a breakfast cereal somehow being near something important made her feel important.

Description: Stanislav always hated his name. That is, until he embraced it and began dressing like a Stanislav. Then he loved it so. In this way, he learned the art of self-acceptance and was often complimented as being the best dressed plumber in the tri-state area.

Description: Tabitha always held out hope. Like the time her lottery card matched in the second digit on every single number. “Well, I’m halfway there,” she thought, as she discarded the ticket, not realizing that every single first digit matched too, just not on the correct numbers.

Description: Derrick isn't bright, but people often mistake him for being a genius because he has money. Everybody knows someone who knows a Derrick.

Description: Horanghae Power! Who is your seventeen bias? Is he a tiger or a hamster? Show your svt bias love with this Hoshi Emoticon Horanghae design. Perfect for any carat.

Description: Irving had suppressed his emotions to the point that he only felt safe experiencing rage. So atomic was the wall of fury he had built around his inner child that it prevented him from receiving the one thing he really needed. A hug.

Description: DK Metcalf blocks DB with one arm to clear path

Description: The biggest, baddest ape from Outworld!

Description: Pittsburgh Football

Description: SEVENTEENTH HEAVEN

Description: Remember buying this flyer at your local drugstore & slinging it into the air? Fly high with this retro design!

Description: illustration