I’LL DO IT EVENTUALLY, MAYBE NEVER Tapestry

This is the ultimate, hilariously realistic open-ended contract for anyone who completely refuses to commit to a specific timeline, deadline, or century. It brilliantly strings the listener along with a faint, polite glimmer of hope before aggressively slamming the door with absolute reality, proudly declaring to the world that while a task has technically entered your mental queue, the statistical probability of it ever manifesting into actual physical reality is safely tracking toward a flawless zero percent.