The Ralph Report Cards

Description: Cover your favorite body part with a flaming nod to one of Ralph's iconic catchphrases!

Description: The one, the only, Queen J

Description: The Brotherhood of Shezmu art inspired by Ralph Garman's The Ralph Report. With Rear-Admiral Eddie Pence formerly (vice-host). Shezmu was the ancient Egyptian god of Wine and Slaughter.

Description: Say hello to Diabolique! We got to meet her and her dancing demon chicks in the disco tune "Hello Death" on The Ralph Report (Patreon). She speaks to us from the beyond, and sometimes in French...now how can you resist that?

Description: The sports bar never looked so good.

Description: Commemorating the first post pandemic show!

Description: Meet Jackpot the clown, a walking ball of unfiltered joy and questionable hygiene, who gets way too excited about the simplest things in life—like the fact that picky eater Eddie might, just might, actually eat something today.

Description: We can predict how great your day is going to be just by wearing this shirt.

Description: The Ralph Report - Lillith vs Shezmu

Description: Eddie Penny

Description: The Ralph Report - Sheriff of Ghost Town

Description: The Ralph Report - One Hit Wonders

Description: The Ralph Report - PRIDE

Description: Penth's unforgettable one-man show that had the world drenched and pondering life is now EMBLAAAAAZONED on a shirts and other things YOU MUST HAVE NOW!!

Description: Santa Ralph 2021

Description: The Ralph Report

Description: Eddiots unite!

Description: The Crew

Description: Cartoon Portrait

Description: Our savior Kevin Stockdale

Description: Guh-ross!!!

Description: Ride the Drinking Horse out of something emblaaaazoned with the Drinking Horse! Or while wearing something emblaaaazoned with the Drinking Horse!! Oooooooh... or both!!!