Function Merch
Description: This is the ultimate, high-stakes system shutdown and definitive corporate manifesto for the completely drained professional whose operational capacity has been instantly vaporized by the calendar. It perfectly captures that powerhouse, early morning boardroom paralysis where all cognitive drive, motor skills, and basic administrative motivation vanish without a trace, boldly declaring to the workplace that the initial twenty-four hours of the week have officially confiscated your primary processing power, leaving you entirely offline and structurally incapable of executing even the simplest organizational tasks.
Description: Rendered on a deep dark background, this artwork presents the complex plane with the critical strip, the critical line Re(s) = ½ and the first nontrivial zeros of the zeta function, above ζ(s) = Σ 1/nˢ. In 1859 Bernhard Riemann conjectured that all nontrivial zeros of the zeta function lie on the line Re(s) = ½. The Riemann hypothesis, linked to the distribution of prime numbers, is still unproven today. Made for math teachers, mathematicians and students who love an elegant proof, it brings classic mathematics to a classroom, study or home office.
Riemann Hypothesis, the Zeta Function and the Critical Line in the Complex Plane Posters and Art
by Science Design
$10 $14
Description: A black background with a detailed diagram of a human brain. Yellow text labels point to different areas of the brain, indicating traits such as "Problem Solving Function", "Arguing Skills", "Lectoe", "Integrity", and "Dislike For Stupid People". The top of the diagram features the bold yellow text "ENGINEER'S BRAIN".
Too Hot to Function Funny Cute Flamingo Summer Bag
by Herzog Tremblay
$19 $24
Description: The sun is smiling. The skeleton is melting. Nobody asked for either. This is the most accurate depiction of summer in the last 10 years — and if you've ever said "I can't, it's too hot" and meant it with your whole chest, this tee was made for your exact situation. Send help. Or ice cream. Preferably both.
Too Hot To Function Send Help Or Ice Cream Melting Skeleton — Funny Summer Heat Graphic Tapestry
by SketchTee
$23 $30
Description: Born to Sparkle, Forced to Function – Funny Exhausted UnicornAre you trying your absolute best to shine while running entirely on low battery and dark roast coffee? Meet your spirit animal.Featuring a hilariously burnt-out pixel art unicorn with crossed-out eyes and a dramatic rainbow waterfall, this design perfectly captures the daily struggle of adulting, corporate burnout, and introverted exhaustion. It’s the ultimate statement piece for anyone who was born to bring the magic but is currently just trying to survive the next video call.Whether you're looking for a sarcastic corporate humor shirt, a relatable laptop sticker, or the perfect morning coffee mug to warn your coworkers, this funny graphic has you covered.
Description: A cartoon train conductor holds a glowing lantern in his left hand. He wears a blue striped hat, a red and white bandana, blue overalls, and black boots. A speech bubble above him reads "WHAT'S YOUR FUNCTION?".
Train Conductor "WHAT'S YOUR FUNCTION?" Baseball T-Shirt
by david man
$19 $26
Description: The task is small. My brain is not. — an ADHD executive function shirt in quiet lowercase white serif. For the email that takes four seconds to send and three days to start. A gentle joke about how big a small thing can feel from the inside.
The Task Is Small My Brain Is Not - ADHD Executive Function Sticker
by BalmyBell
$3.15 $3.50
Description: Currently melting. Send ice cream or don't bother. This retro skeleton summer tee is for everyone who shuts down the moment the temperature hits triple digits — and has zero plans to recover. Bold cartoon illustration with a melting skeleton and a sun that's way too happy about the whole situation. Perfect for summer haters, heat survivors, and anyone who relates to liquefying on contact.
Too-Hot-To-Function-Send-Help-Or-Ice-Cream-Funny-Skeleton-Summer-Tee Sticker
by SketchTee
$3.15 $3.50
Description: Schoolhouse Rock's conductor is one of the most recognizable characters from the animated series. The conductor appeared in the segment Conjunction Junction to teach viewers how to use a part of grammar known as conjuctions. In a popular song, an unseen audience asks the conductor, "Conjuction Junction, what's your function?" to which he replies "Hooking up words, and phrases, and clauses." For any fan of the educational animated series, this What's Your Function Schoolhouse Rock T-Shirt is a must have!
Description: A black background displays code in a programming language. The top line, in yellow, reads "(function repeat()". Below this, in white text, is a loop structure: a '{' bracket, 'while (true) {', then 'eat++;', 'sleep++;', 'code++;', and 'repeat();'. The code concludes with two closing brackets '}' on separate lines.
Description: Too Hot to Function! A funny summer heat design featuring a blazing sun, fan, ice-cold drink, battery humor and an orange awareness ribbon. A playful Multiple Sclerosis awareness shirt for MS warriors, supporters, spoonies, and anyone who relates to being too hot to function. Great for summer, MS awareness events, MS Walks, and meaningful gifts.
Too Hot to Function Funny Summer Heat T-Shirt, Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Orange Ribbon Shirt, MS Warrior Gift Tapestry
by almoz
$23 $30
Description: A dark background displays white text resembling a code snippet. It features lines of code with function calls and variable assignments, including 'puthoin (ipt.prtion_ithomnation()', 'put. ste = in=_ptecokten())', 'put. s.er._cuthorterrr(())', 'put._forl a._arter_d);;', and 'put. = puthern(());'.
Description: Five retro panels of geese crawling through tunnels, threading beads, stretching bands and balancing, under We Put the Fun in Function. For OTs who make therapy playful.
We Put the Fun in Function OT Goose Therapy Activities Long Sleeve T-Shirt
by NovasArtCo
$17 $24
Description: A monochrome diagram of a brain with various labels indicating different functions. The text reads "ENGINEER'S BRAIN", and labels point to areas like "PROBLEM SOLVING FUNCTION", "COFFEE LOCATION SENSOR", "SCIENTIFIC CALCULATOR", "SARCASM CORTEX", "OPTIMIZATION PROTOCOLS", "STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY CHECK", "SYSTEMS ANALYSIS", "CODING LOGIC UNIT", and "SHOULD BE USING DUCT TAPE?". The brain is presented in white against a black background.
Description: Celebrate your love for stories with this vintage-inspired reading graphic. Perfect for bibliophiles who prefer imaginary worlds over reality. Featuring a stack of classic novels, this cozy aesthetic is ideal for library days, bookstore visits, or quiet evenings spent curled up with a favorite page-turner.
Too Fictional To Function Book Lover Sticker
by Eliteskulsstudio
$3.15 $3.50
Description: Celebrate your love for stories with this charming vintage book aesthetic. Featuring a magical open novel and a stack of antique literature, this witty quote is perfect for every avid reader who prefers imaginary worlds to reality. Ideal for cozy library days and bookish enthusiasts everywhere.
I Can't Function Without Complaining Baby & Kids T-Shirt
by Rizabon
$13 $19
Conjunction Junction, What's Your Function Magnet
by Westbernard
$3.75 $4.75
