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Local sightings at Loch Raven Reservoir strangely detail a hunchbacked Caucasian male supposedly stalking hikers and visitors alike. This thing or "Funyun-Man" has been seen wearing a Funyuns (onion flavored rings) bag as trousers and a vestigial tail protruding from its rear end. If anyone has any information please contact us immediately and if the Funyun-Man is spotted DO NOT approach.
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