Hetero Merch

Introducing our exclusive and sleek "Happy Hetero" shirt, designed to celebrate the beauty of hetero relationships. With a bold and timeless design, this shirt embodies the essence of love and commitment between a man and a woman.

White CIS Male - LGBTQ (LGBT) - Hetero Marxist Liberal

no hetero

a Gustav Klimt tribute to hetero life mates Jay and Silent Bob.

We ship it all

Jay and Silent Bob Lil BFFs

no hetero

heteros left the group

Stop now

Eat your heart out Buffalo Bill! Goodbye horses.... Here are Jay and Silent Bob in my favorite scene from Clerks II. Notice Bob is not wearing his usual big coat!

Snootchie Bootchies!

LGBT

The whole collection of my pixel-style Jay and Silent Bob pics all in one convenient place, set up as a collage of polaroid snapshots! '94 - In front of the Quick Stop. '95 - Hanging at the mall. '97 - Collecting some phat envelopes. '99 - Escorting the last descendant of Jesus on a crusade to Jersey. '01 - Saving Susanne from animal experiments. '06 - Hanging out in fromt of Moobys..... but when will they reveal their true identities as Bluntman and Chronic? The world needs this movie, Mr. Smith. Please. Before you have another heart attack.

hetero meat eater

gay gasp

Demuestra que eres gay friendly

Elevate your style with our "Blonde Radiance" shirt, featuring a cheerful depiction of a happy hetero single blonde female. The shirt's design exudes confidence and positivity, capturing the essence of an independent spirit and the joy found in love. The "Blonde Radiance" shirt is a chic choice, perfect for showcasing your vibrant personality and embracing the beauty of individuality while still being a “happy hetero.”

Embrace the charm of the "Beary Couple" shirt, where a delightful depiction of a happy hetero bear duo takes center stage. This shirt blends the playful spirit of bears with the joy of companionship, creating a heartwarming and stylish piece. Let the "Beary Couple" shirt become your go-to expression of love, nature, and cozy comfort.

I put the "fiction" in "pulp" with these feminist satirical classic pulp fiction parodies. Check out my other books/magazines, "Broodmare," "Catcallers in Space," "Dump Him Magazine," "Dying Alone," "Feminist Killjoy," "Horses!" "Misandry Tales," "Nasty Woman," "Nazis Suck," "Online Dating Weekly," "Said No Woman Ever," "She Left Her Cat For This," "Sleep!" "Tales of the Patriarchy," "Crazy Cat Lady," "Man Splain, Private Eye," "Science Quarterly," "The Gay Agenda," "The Shocking Spinster," and "The Feminist Agenda."

Hetero-sexuality

Heterosexual Gamer

Heterosexual Gamer

Heterosexual Gamer

no hetero

Heterosexual Gamer

Yup, I’m queer.

no hetero

listen to episode 14 of the Salt Report for the quote

listen to episode 14 of the Salt Report podcast

Blunt-tastic pixel style Bluntman and Chronic! Put away your bong-sabers and head back to the Bluntcave...

Introducing our vibrant Happy Hetero African American Couple shirt, showcasing the joyous spirit of a happy hetero African American couple. Embraced in a colorful design, this shirt captures the essence of love and unity. This shirt is a celebration of happiness, diversity, and the beauty of love that transcends borders.

Introducing our "Speedy Love" shirt, featuring a joyful race car cruising through life with smiles and excitement, while displaying our trademarked Happy Hetero phrasing. The vibrant design captures the thrill of the racetrack and the harmony of love, merging the fast-paced world of racing with the warmth of togetherness. This shirt not only expresses your passion for speed but also celebrates the joy found in companionship. Rev up your style and spread happiness with the "Speedy Love" shirt.

for an ally

Blossom into happiness with our enchanting "Floral Love" shirt, showcasing a radiant depiction of a daisy. The "Floral Love" shirt is a wearable ode to the joy found in nature and the enduring beauty found in happy hetero love.

Todays Homo Sapiens can be LGBTQI... I'm still Hetero to feel myself an upright man, an erectus.

Introducing our "Young Love" shirt, a celebration of the exuberant spirit of a happy young hetero couple. With a vibrant design that mirrors the zest for life and love, this shirt captures the essence of youth and togetherness. The “Young Love" shirt is not just a fashion statement; it's a declaration of the joy found in the journey of love for the young and the young at heart.