Cards
Description: Achieve enlightenment the goblin way. This design has our grumpy green goblin monk nestled in a misty forest, sharpening his stick beside a bubbling rat stew. A sign on the tree behind him reads: “BEFORE ENLIGHTENMENT: sharpen stick. stew rat. AFTER ENLIGHTENMENT: sharpen stick. stew rat.” for a goblin twist on the old Chop Wood, Carry Water phrase.
Description: Drift away from reality with this whimsical and mildly unsettling fully conscious mushroom rowing down a dreamy forest stream. With the classic line “Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily… life is but a dream”, this vintage-style design brings surreal charm, forestcore vibes, and a touch of existential humor.
Description: When the world is too loud and your soul is at 3%, it’s time to enter Goblin Mode and recharge. This sleepy little forest goblin has ditched his responsibilities, curled up on his mossy bed, and let the mushrooms, hot tea, and ambient lantern glow do the healing. His battery may be low—but his self-preservation instincts are getting fully recharged!
Description: Forget the stock market. Forget the rat race. This goblin has packed his bindle, grabbed his walking stick, and chosen the only financial strategy that makes sense: walking into the woods and never coming back. Capture the exact moment a fed-up creature nopes out of society forever. Whether you're a burned-out millennial, a woodland hermit-in-training, or simply done with capitalism and small talk, this goblin speaks your language.
Grumpy Goblin "My Retirement Plan Is Vanishing Into the Woods" Card
$5.00 $6.00
Description: Forget 401(k)s and hustle culture, this goblin has found true wealth on the shores of a misty northern lake. Hood up, vibes grim, and basket full of glistening stones, he’s chosen the only retirement plan that makes sense: rejecting society and collecting cool rocks. Whether you’re a rockhound, goblincore gremlin, burnt-out wage slave, or simply yearning to touch grass and hoard minerals, this design is a feral little protest against late-stage capitalism.
Description: Love isn’t about perfection, it’s about finding someone who’ll dive headfirst into life’s messy dumpsters with you and still make it romantic! These raccoons know that true connection means laughter in the landfill, romance in the refuse, and bonding over the trash bag of existence.
Raccoons “My love language is digging in the trash together!” Card
$5.00 $6.00
Description: Some people bounce back from socializing. Others, like this exhausted goblin, need a week of quiet, a moss blanket, and maybe a minor forest exile. Sprawled in a daze among cheerful wildflowers, this goblin has clearly been through something—namely, a conversation with other humans.
Introverted Forest Goblin - "I Survived Another Social Interaction. Barely." Card
$5.00 $6.00
Description: This goblin isn’t angry. He’s not annoyed. He’s just built this way—forehead furrowed, arms crossed, and absolutely done with everyone's nonsense. Whether you're a naturally grouchy goblin or just tired of being told to smile, this little fellow lets the world know: this is your resting goblin face!
Description: For anyone whose idea of peace involves absolutely zero small talk and a mug of something warm in a treehouse fortress of solitude. This surly little forest goblin has mastered the art of disengagement. Wrapped in his cozy cloak of judgment and sipping tea (or something stronger), he’s here to make one thing very clear: he does not do people.
Description: For the burnt-out, peopled-out, and peace-seeking introverts: this cozy goblin has officially logged out of all social obligations. Featuring a sleepy forest goblin curled up in a mossy hideaway under a low-battery icon, this whimsical design perfectly captures the universal feeling of needing to hermit.
