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Description: The Schuylkill River (pronounced Sku-cool if you’re local) runs through Philly and lends its name to an adjacent curvy, narrow, nightmarish expressway. The river is riddled with sewage, microplastics, and opposing sports team fan bodies. It’s a wonder that sardines survive in such a place, but that’s what makes these jawns Philly Strong! Ben Franklin preferred his Schuylkill Sardines in Cheez Whiz right out of the can as he wandered the city looking for trouble.