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My cat's breath smells like cat food.
London, UK.

Tapestries

My Mom Took Tylenol Now I Love Trains Tapestry
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Description: Whether you're in a heated debate or just trying to prove a point, this cool, funny, humorous, statement novelty design will make it clear to everyone around you that you have a sarcastic sense of humor.

Tags: adhd, adhd awareness, adhd funny quotes, adult humor, autism awareness

My Mom Took Tylenol Now I Love Trains Tapestry

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Maybe Today Satan Tapestry
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Description: A playful twist on the classic phrase! This "Maybe Today, Satan." design is perfect for those who like to flirt with mischief while keeping their cool.

Tags: dark humor, demon, devil, evil, funny

Maybe Today Satan Tapestry

$23 $30

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My Meat Is 100% Going In Your Mouth Tapestry
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Description: The grill master has spoken. This bold, confident BBQ design is for the pitmaster who takes their cookout seriously and wants everyone within reading distance to know the meat is absolutely going down.

Tags: adult humor, barbecue, chef, cook, cooking

My Meat Is 100% Going In Your Mouth Tapestry

$23 $30

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Sorry If I Was Rude It Was Probably Your Fault Tapestry
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Description: The apology that isn't quite an apology. This adorable kawaii lamb under a rainbow delivers the most passive aggressive sorry in existence with maximum cuteness and absolutely zero actual remorse. Perfect.

Tags: animal, apology, cute, funny, funny quote
Lactose Tolerant Tapestry

Description: Not everyone can say it. This bold, no-frills design is a proud declaration for the dairy-blessed among us. Ice cream, cheese, milk, all of it. No consequences. No regrets. Just pure digestive freedom.

Tags: dairy, dark humor, funny, lactose, lactose intolerance

Lactose Tolerant Tapestry

$23 $30

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ADHD A Delicious Hot Dog Tapestry
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Description: ADHD: A Delicious Hot Dog. Finally, a diagnosis everyone can get behind. This fun, food-loving design flips the script with a bold acronym reveal and a gloriously illustrated hot dog. Mustard included.

Tags: actually autistic, adhd awareness, adhd funny quotes, adhd humor, adhd is awesome

ADHD A Delicious Hot Dog Tapestry

$23 $30

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Be Kind (Of A Bitch) Tapestry
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Description: Be kind. Full stop. Except not quite full stop. This clean, minimalist design lures you in with good intentions and hits you with the twist you absolutely did not see coming. It's the design for women who smile warmly, mean well, and have exactly zero time for nonsense. Simple typography, maximum personality. Give it to your most honest friend and watch her face light up. She knows exactly who she is.

Tags: adult humor, attitude, be kind, bitch, funny

Be Kind (Of A Bitch) Tapestry

$23 $30

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First Of All I'm A Delight Tapestry
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Description: First of all, rude. Second of all, this raccoon is absolutely right and you know it. Whether you're the most delightful person in the room or just the loudest, this design speaks for itself. Sassy, confident, and powered entirely by snacks and spite, it's the perfect statement for anyone who has never once needed anyone else's validation. Bold illustration, bolder attitude.

Tags: animal, animal meme, cute, cute raccoon, dark humor

First Of All I'm A Delight Tapestry

$23 $30

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Bad Day To Be A Hot Dog Tapestry
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Description: Perfect for grill masters, barbecue lovers, and fans of sarcastic food humor. This distressed hot dog design brings laughs to cookouts, tailgates, camping trips, summer parties, and family gatherings.

Tags: barbecue, barbeque, bbq, chef, cooking

Bad Day To Be A Hot Dog Tapestry

$23 $30

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Pickles Tapestry
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Description: Funny pickle design for pickle lovers, food fans, and anyone obsessed with crunchy dill snacks. Perfect for grocery runs, farmers markets, foodie events, pickle festivals, road trips, casual weekends, and sarcastic humor lovers.

Tags: big dill, cucumber, dill pickle, dill with it, funny

Pickles Tapestry

$23 $30

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My ADHD Is So Severe It Has Become AD4K Tapestry
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Description: An upgrade nobody asked for and everyone with ADHD will immediately understand. This brilliantly clever design is perfect for neurodivergent people, tech lovers, and anyone whose attention difficulties have simply evolved beyond standard definition.

Tags: actually autistic, adhd awareness, adhd brain, adhd humor, adhd quote
I Speak Fluent Sarcasm Tapestry
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Description: A language acquired early, refined over years, and now spoken with complete native fluency. This brilliantly bold design is perfect for the sarcastically gifted, the chronically dry, and anyone for whom sarcasm is less a communication style and more a calling.

Tags: fluent, funny, funny gift, funny quote, funny sayings

I Speak Fluent Sarcasm Tapestry

$23 $30

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I Cry Periodically Tapestry

Description: Iodine. Chromium. Yttrium. Periodically. This gloriously clever design is perfect for science lovers, chemistry enthusiasts, and anyone who appreciates a pun that works on two levels and also accurately describes their emotional life at the same time.

Tags: biology, chemistry, element, elements, emo

I Cry Periodically Tapestry

$23 $30

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If You're Not Into Oral Sex Keep Your Mouth Shut Tapestry
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Description: Makes a great gift for any friend or family member on birthdays, Christmas or any other gifting occasion, and is perfect for wearing to family gatherings, work meetings, or any other situation where you want to show off your quick wit and sarcasm.

Tags: dark humor, flirt, flirty, funny, gift idea
Black Mold Punk Logo Tapestry
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Description: Whether you're in a heated debate or just trying to prove a point, this cool, funny, humorous, statement novelty design will make it clear to everyone around you that you have a sarcastic sense of humor.

Tags: adult humor, band, dark humor, funny, humor

Black Mold Punk Logo Tapestry

$23 $30

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The Older I Get The Better I Was Tapestry
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Description: Memory is a wonderful thing. This brilliantly self aware design is perfect for anyone whose past achievements have improved considerably with age, whose stories have gotten better with each retelling, and who was frankly extraordinary back in the day apparently.

Tags: age, aging, birthday, funny, getting old

The Older I Get The Better I Was Tapestry

$23 $30

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ADHD A Diva Has Distractions Tapestry
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Description: A brilliant reframe of four very familiar letters. This witty and empowering design is perfect for women with ADHD who navigate their distractions with style, humor, and the full energy of someone who was absolutely going to do that thing and then did not.

Tags: actually autistic, adhd, adhd awareness, autism acceptance, autism awareness

ADHD A Diva Has Distractions Tapestry

$23 $30

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BDSM Business Development Sales and Marketing Tapestry
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Description: Makes a great gift for any friend or family member on birthdays, Christmas or any other gifting occasion, and is perfect for wearing to family gatherings, work meetings, or any other situation where you want to show off your quick wit and sarcasm.

Tags: adult humor, bdsmcommunity, daddy, dark humor, dom
I Peg Good Boys Tapestry
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Description: I peg good boys... and they don't even have to ask nicely.

Tags: alternative, bdsm, emo, funny, good boy

I Peg Good Boys Tapestry

$23 $30

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It's Always 'You're Autistic...' Dinosaurs Tapestry
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Description: Funny autism humor design for dinosaur nerds, science geeks, introverts, fossil lovers, and people who can name every dinosaur species but still get awkward looks during conversations and random fact sharing.

Tags: adhd, autism, autism awareness, autistic, awareness
Not Friendly - Do Not Touch Tapestry
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Description: Whether you're in a heated debate or just trying to prove a point, this cool, funny, humorous, statement novelty design will make it clear to everyone around you that you have a sarcastic sense of humor.

Tags: adult humor, anti social, dark humor, funny, humor

Not Friendly - Do Not Touch Tapestry

$23 $30

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What The Fuck, Over. Tapestry
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Description: Whether you're in a heated debate or just trying to prove a point, this cool, funny, humorous, statement novelty design will make it clear to everyone around you that you have a sarcastic sense of humor.

Tags: adult humor, cb radio, dark humor, exclamation, funny

What The Fuck, Over. Tapestry

$23 $30

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Ginger Slut Tapestry
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Description: Whether you're in a heated debate or just trying to prove a point, this cool, funny, humorous, statement novelty design will make it clear to everyone around you that you have a sarcastic sense of humor.

Tags: adult humor, dibs, dibs on the redhead, funny, funny irish

Ginger Slut Tapestry

$23 $30

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I'm Good in Bed I Can Sleep All Day Tapestry
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Description: A bold claim with immediate clarification. This brilliantly funny design is perfect for anyone who has truly mastered the art of sleep, considers a long lie in a legitimate achievement, and has never once felt guilty about a single gloriously wasted morning.

Tags: cute, funny, funny quote, good in bed, lazy

I'm Good in Bed I Can Sleep All Day Tapestry

$23 $30

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ONLYFANS Tapestry
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Description: I'm just a big fan... of fans.

Tags: adult humor, fandom, funny, funny gift, funny quote

ONLYFANS Tapestry

$23 $30

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Is He Dead Yet Crow Tapestry

Description: Is He Dad Yet? crow design. Something to ponder with your morning brew.

Tags: 8647, anti fascism, anti fascist, anti trump, antifa

Is He Dead Yet Crow Tapestry

$23 $30

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YAOI / YURI Tapestry
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Description: A brilliantly designed typographic graphic hiding its meaning in plain sight instantly understood by anyone in the know. Perfect for anime fans, manga enthusiasts, and anyone who appreciates clever design that says a lot while appearing to say very little.

Tags: anime and manga, anime art, anime characters, asian, japan

YAOI / YURI Tapestry

$23 $30

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Powered By Caffeine Tapestry
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Description: Cute coffee cup graphic with bold typography for baristas, students, nurses, teachers, entrepreneurs, and work from home professionals. Great birthday or Christmas gift idea for caffeine addicts who live for their daily brew.

Tags: caffeine, caffeine addict, coffee drinks, coffee humor, coffee lover

Powered By Caffeine Tapestry

$23 $30

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Born To Game Forced To Work Tapestry
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Description: The calling was clear from the beginning. The controller felt right. The destiny was set. And then adulthood arrived with its bills and responsibilities and completely unreasonable expectations. Perfect for gamers who work purely to fund the life they actually want.

Tags: funny, games, gaming, gaming apparel, geek

Born To Game Forced To Work Tapestry

$23 $30

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Kiss My Grits Tapestry

Description: A classic Southern comeback with decades of sass behind it. This bold and iconic design is perfect for anyone who grew up below the Mason Dixon line, loves Southern culture, or simply appreciates a dismissal delivered with charm, grit, and zero apology whatsoever.

Tags: country, country music, cowboy, cuss, deep south

Kiss My Grits Tapestry

$23 $30

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Say Perhaps To Drugs Tapestry
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Description: Don't be too dismissive... say 'perhaps' to drugs.

Tags: 420, adult humor, blunt, dark humor, funny

Say Perhaps To Drugs Tapestry

$23 $30

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Big Fan Of Human Rights Tapestry
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Description: A simple, colourful, and powerful statement for anyone who believes that human rights are not a political position but a basic minimum. Perfect for activists, allies, advocates, and anyone who stands firmly on the right side of history every single day.

Tags: activism, activist, equal rights, equality, feminism

Big Fan Of Human Rights Tapestry

$23 $30

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Have You Tried Turning It Off and On Again? Tapestry
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Description: The universal first line of technical support, immortalised in one legendary question. Perfect for IT professionals, tech support workers, programmers, and anyone who has uttered this phrase so many times it has become their entire personality at work.

Tags: coding, computer, computer nerd, computer science, developer
I Don't Make Mistakes I Make Spicy Decisions Tapestry

Description: Sure, some of those choices looked a little questionable in the moment. The spontaneous haircut. The food order that did not quite land. The reply all. The text sent to the wrong person. The confidence with which you ordered something you could not pronounce. But were they mistakes? Absolutely not. They were spicy decisions, made with full conviction and zero regrets.

Tags: adult humor, funny, hot mess, im not a hot mess, im not a hot mess im a spicy disaster
How Much I Care Tapestry
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Description: Maybe a little less than this actually.

Tags: antisocial, dont care, funny, funny meme, funny quote

How Much I Care Tapestry

$23 $30

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Nice Cote D'Azur Tapestry

Description: Summer 1990... c'est magnifique!

Tags: beach, coast, france, french, ocean

Nice Cote D'Azur Tapestry

$23 $30

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