Oz9 Cards

Description: His opinions are starting to flow as freely as that mane.

Description: He'd rather be narrating a nature special about rare equatorial polar bears or something, but he's making the best of it. When he's not sulking in his trailer....

Description: When cordon bleu dreams become burger-flippin' realities, you've got to stay professional. Which he ... mostly does.

Description: Official MCCACEC garb from the College Bookstore now available for everyone! Dress up like Donna's fellow alma mater.

Description: Can't you just hear Olivia saying this?

Description: If you spill your coffee, no worries! Your mug has the disclaimer built right in ...

Description: The boring alarm on the Oz 9.

Description: Declare your outerspace-simian affiliation with pride and maybe a coffee mug!

Description: Everyone's favorite French assassin.

Description: As deadly as she is gorgeous, the Albatros abides no malarky, nonsense, or off-brand condiments.

Description: Oh, and if all your friends wanted to jump off a cliff, I suppose you'd do that too?

Description: There's probably a zombie in the corridor.

Description: Designed to fit your phone.

Description: What pet name would your narrator give you? Ours is kind of a jerk.

Description: The 9-compoops are actually 9 in number now, with the addition of le Bichon Frise (pretty sure that's FREE-ZAY) and the Albatros!

Description: Olivia swears it's not her fault, but we're all starting to suspect that may be a lie of sorts.

Description: Are you? Are you TRULY Oz 9 AF?

Description: Show the world your status as an Official Space Monkey with this seal.

Description: OK, not everyone likes the red nametags, so here's Greg, sans name, but still cute as Charles Dickens, or whatever that expression is.

Description: He's amazing at mopping floors and scaring the hell out of the crew. His discovery of sandwich machines has eradicated any need for laxatives.

Description: all the merch you could want with this guy on it!

Description: Joe mops up dead people. I don't think I'd let him make me a sandwich if I were you.

Description: Not quite as wholesome as the Brady Bunch, but keeping it together for now.

Description: So many silly people, all in one place. Have we infiltrated YOUR ears yet?

Description: Cute AND smart and gradually realizing he's trapped with a bunch of idiots, our swamp-grazing zebra is starting to regret this voyage....

Description: 'It's "penguin," not "pingwing," and even your posh British accent can't save you here.' It's possible our Narrator suffers from a little professional jealousy...

Description: Some phone cases take out too much of our adorable zebra's head. So we asked him to stand the other way.

Description: The corporate logo for the company behind the Oz ships.

Description: Deadly with the decongestant, this assassin with the appalling French accent hitched a ride aboard the Oz 9. But what's his real purpose???

Description: She may look innocent, but the Oz 9's Artificial Intelligence will fry you where you stand or gas you with experimental aromatherapy... you won't like it.

Description: You have Leet's Heroic Running shirt, now have a face-off in your dresser drawer with le Bichon Frise's Nefarious Running!

Description: An errant olive may have turned Colin into Colin-plus, but to the crew of the Oz 9, he's still the arrogant, annoying Colin he's always been.

Description: He's pretty cranky at the best of times, but let's be honest: he's not exactly narrating the "best of times."

Description: If you know a woman who fits this description, get her a tee shirt or a pillow. You'll probably live longer.

Description: She's feisty but ever-so-much-fun. And if you say differently, I hope you have a really good panic room.

Description: The 778 XX Maintenance and Repair Bot