Oz9 Tank Tops

His opinions are starting to flow as freely as that mane.

The 9-compoops are actually 9 in number now, with the addition of le Bichon Frise (pretty sure that's FREE-ZAY) and the Albatros!

Are you? Are you TRULY Oz 9 AF?

Olivia swears it's not her fault, but we're all starting to suspect that may be a lie of sorts.

Sweet and shirtless, our IT guy and password guesser extraordinaire would love to hang out with you. Literally, like he'd be hanging out WITH you.

OK, not everyone likes the red nametags, so here's Greg, sans name, but still cute as Charles Dickens, or whatever that expression is.

He's amazing at mopping floors and scaring the hell out of the crew. His discovery of sandwich machines has eradicated any need for laxatives.

Show the world your status as an Official Space Monkey with this seal.

Deadly with the decongestant, this assassin with the appalling French accent hitched a ride aboard the Oz 9. But what's his real purpose???

The 778 XX Maintenance and Repair Bot

When you've done some nifty assassining and must get away quickly, it's time for ... nefarious running!

He'd rather be narrating a nature special about rare equatorial polar bears or something, but he's making the best of it. When he's not sulking in his trailer....

Not quite as wholesome as the Brady Bunch, but keeping it together for now.

Our frequently grumbly Narrator doesn't have a ton of patience for the idiot crew of the Oz 9, but we love him anyway. For now.....

The perfect shirt to wear on those days when it just *is* your fault.

When cordon bleu dreams become burger-flippin' realities, you've got to stay professional. Which he ... mostly does.

Official MCCACEC garb from the College Bookstore now available for everyone! Dress up like Donna's fellow alma mater.

Spoiler alert: it often is.

You know the saying, "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me"? Well, we'll have you! Join the proud ranks of the Oz 9 space monkeys, and you'll always have someone to eat lunch with.

Same day, same nonsense, says are oft-irritated Narrator. And yet, true professional, he shows up, hand over one ear, to appraise our listeners of the dumb stuff going on aboard the Oz 9.

The boring alarm on the Oz 9.

Is there room on your chest for his? He is awfully well developed, as he'll happily tell you himself.

She's feisty but ever-so-much-fun. And if you say differently, I hope you have a really good panic room.

Cute AND smart and gradually realizing he's trapped with a bunch of idiots, our swamp-grazing zebra is starting to regret this voyage....

Some phone cases take out too much of our adorable zebra's head. So we asked him to stand the other way.

So many silly people, all in one place. Have we infiltrated YOUR ears yet?

The corporate logo for the company behind the Oz ships.

'It's "penguin," not "pingwing," and even your posh British accent can't save you here.' It's possible our Narrator suffers from a little professional jealousy...

She may look innocent, but the Oz 9's Artificial Intelligence will fry you where you stand or gas you with experimental aromatherapy... you won't like it.

He's pretty cranky at the best of times, but let's be honest: he's not exactly narrating the "best of times."

An errant olive may have turned Colin into Colin-plus, but to the crew of the Oz 9, he's still the arrogant, annoying Colin he's always been.

You have Leet's Heroic Running shirt, now have a face-off in your dresser drawer with le Bichon Frise's Nefarious Running!

Wear your "I have poor leisure-time judgement" proudly and declare yourself to be the space monkey you are.

If you know a woman who fits this description, get her a tee shirt or a pillow. You'll probably live longer.

Join the crew on board the Oz 9 ... or just wear them on a shirt, which you're far more likely to survive.

As deadly as she is gorgeous, the Albatros abides no malarky, nonsense, or off-brand condiments.