This happy little egg chose to voluntarily fall off the table and take this baby bird with him to hell out of spite. Every time you wear this shirt you're going to have to look into people's eyes as you explain that to them.
Sometimes, the best thing to do after a night of worldwide drinking is to grab a better view to see where you've been. The Eiffel Tower is so, well cliche. You want to go big. You want a meso-american pyramid! Be the most interesting man in the world. Do it!