Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturitions are to me, As plurdled gabbleblotchits, On a lurgid bee, That mordiously hath blurted out, Its earted jurtles, Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming] Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles, Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts, And living glupules frart and slipulate, Like jowling meated liverslime, Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turling dromes, And hooptiously drangle me, With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don’t. For those wondering: "IP BD" stands for "Iambic Pentameter Be Damned". ;)
Tags: douglas-adams, adams, douglas, vogon-poetry, poetry
If you’re anything like Zaphod Beeblebrox (Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy) you don’t actually have A heart of gold, so you stole it so you could have THE heart of gold. Which might be just as good because it can do some pretty cool stuff. Powered by an Infinite Improbability Drive the Heart of Gold is the only ship that Zaphod could use to get to Magrathea, in style. Another design that’s part of my ‘Weird Scifi Quotes’ collection.
Tags: vogon, hitchhikers-guide, heart-of-gold, zaphod, hhg2tg
It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probability, a sperm whale had been called into existence, several miles above the surface of an alien planet. But since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity. This is what it thought as it fell: 'Ahhh! Whoa! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by 'who am I'? Okay, okay, calm down, calm down, get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? It's a sort of a tingling in my... well, I suppose I better start finding names for things. Let's call it a... tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, what's this roaring sound, whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It'll do. Yeah, this is really exciting! I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now, isn't it? And what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! That's it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello Ground!' [the whale crashes into the ground] Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell, was: 'Oh no, not again.' Many have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that, we should know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
Tags: artie, h2g2, mostly-harmless, and-another-thing, hhg2tg