Checked Shorts
Description: A bold graphic featuring a blue monster truck with orange and blue flames on its side. The truck rests on oversized tires, positioned on a black and white checkered surface. Text above reads "I LIKE MY ENGINES LIKE MY COFFEE". Text below states "DIESEL AND STRONG". Includes registered and trademark symbols.
Description: A black background with white text. Three checklist boxes with checkmarks are shown, followed by the phrases "I DON'T WANT TO", "I DON'T HAVE TO", and "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME". Below these, in a script font, is the phrase "I'm Retired."
I Don't Want To I Don't Have To You Can't Make Me I'm Retired Text List Shorts
by Illustrations By Majali
$27
Description: This circular emblem features a cartoon frog and toad hugging each other. The frog is green and wearing a black and white checked scarf. The toad is brown and tan with red spots and a somewhat sleepy expression. The text "FROG AND TOAD ARE GAY" is displayed in a multicolored rainbow arc around them.
Description: The design reads “Rogue” and “I checked for traps after stepping on one,” with crossed daggers, a hooded figure, moon, stars, and a loot bag. It is perfect for stealthy tabletop RPG players who love risky scouting and questionable trap detection. A funny fantasy rogue design for adventurers, thieves, dungeon crawlers, and party specialists.
Description: A circular emblem with red and blue segments forms the background for a stylized representation of crossed hockey sticks. The hockey stick on the right is black with a white outline, positioned vertically and diagonally. The other hockey element is blue, forming a checkmark shape with a circular end.
Description: A cartoon-style composition featuring a capybara eating ramen with chopsticks from a red bowl. Pink hearts are scattered around the capybara. Below, two checkboxes are visible, with the text "CAPYBARA" and "RAMEN" next to them. The phrase "LIST OF THINGS I LIKE" curves above the capybara.
Description: A humorous graphic featuring the text "Verified" in large, bubbly white letters with a black outline. To the right of the text is a white cloud shape containing a black checkmark. Below the main text, in smaller white capitalized letters with dashes on either side, is the text "(BY YOUR MOM)". The overall style is simple and bold.
Description: A stylized depiction of two men with beaming smiles and outstretched arms against a black background. The man on the left wears a vibrant orange, white, and blue patterned shirt. The man on the right wears a grey and white checkered shirt. Bold red text below reads "RIGHT YOU ARE, KEN!".
Description: Red States: The Hypocrisy is Real Fact Checked — A bold, distressed graphic exposes a raw truth: red states rely heavily on blue states’ tax revenues to stay afloat—despite preaching self-reliance and small government. The stark black-and-white design mirrors the hypocrisy it critiques: rugged fonts evoke patriotism and grit, while the message undercuts the myth of red-state independence. In today’s polarized America, it’s a sharp reminder that culture war bluster often masks economic dependence—and that those who shout “freedom” loudest are quietly funded by the very states they scorn.
Description: Gone dissociating. Location: unknown. Return time: uncertain. This retro-style exhausted frog plugged in at 1% captures the very specific experience of being physically present but mentally checked out completely. Vintage distressed doodle with maximum relatable energy. Perfect for people who dissociate as a coping mechanism and find it funny Great for burnout survivors, overstimulated introverts, and chronic daydreamers Ideal gift for the friend who is "here" but definitely not here A perfectly relatable gift for anyone who has left the building mentally but stayed physically.
