Sub Optimal Merch

Description: A portrait of a stern-faced officer in uniform. The upper portion of the frame features a black rectangle with white text reading "TODAY HAS BEEN" and below it, in bold red letters, "SUB-OPTIMAL". The officer wears a dark uniform with a badge and a radio.

Description: A stern-faced police officer wears a dark uniform and cap. The phrase "TODAY HAS BEEN SUB-OPTIMAL" is prominently displayed in a white rectangular box above the officer's head. The style is a stylized, illustrative depiction against a black background.

Description: Channel your inner stoic police captain with this deadpan design featuring Brooklyn's most emotionally reserved commanding officer and his characteristically understated assessment of disappointment. Perfect for fans who appreciate dry humor and impeccable grammar.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Could have made better choices." Who among us hasn't done a few things that seemed smarter in retrospect? That sixth drink; taking the umbrella out of your bag; maybe even your first marriage!