Valente T-Shirts

Haus of Valente realness

As seen in, “The Past is Red.”

Sisyphus got a day pass (from “L’Espirit de L’Escalier”, available on Tor.com).

‘’It should positively vibrate with laughing at comedies and sobbing at tragedies, it should echo with gasps as decent ladies glimpse indecent things and indecent ladies stumble upon secret and scandalous decencies! A Library should not shush; it should roar!”

As seen in ‘The Past is Red.’

#relationshipgoals

Absolute Heroes.

Absolute Hero.

How are we going to put ‘gendersplat’ on a personnel form?

You can put us on chains, and throw us in cages. We'll just smash our way out of them, anyway!

A campaign we can all believe in: Blunderbuss for president.

In space, everyone can hear you sing.

"Life is beautiful and life is stupid. This is, in fact, widely regarded as a universal rule not less inviolable than the Second Law of Thermodynamics, the Uncertainty Principle, and No Post on Sundays. As long as you keep that in mind, and never give more weight to one than the other, the history of the galaxy is a simple tune with lyrics flashed on-screen and a helpful, friendly bouncing disco ball of all-annihilating flames to help you follow along." - Catherynne M. Valente, "Space Opera"

In a galaxy near you, 2025.

Absolute Heroes.

Everyone’s favorite scrap yarn combat wombat!

Sergio Valente jeans debuted in 1979, after Valente – an Italian celebrity hairdresser – lent his name to the line. Although Valente wasn’t involved in designing the clothes, the label quickly attracted a following. Between 1979 and 1982, annual sales topped $125 million, with more than a million pairs of jeans sold each month. Sergios were a staple on TV shows and at the hottest dance clubs of the time. By the mid ’80s, consumers began favoring a more casual look, which led to the next denim craze – stone-washed jeans. Suddenly, dark-blue designer jeans were as cool as orange polyester pants, and as quickly as they arrived, Sergio Valente jeans made their exit, going out of production in 1988.

Absolute Heroes.

Absolute Heroes.

Absolute Heroes.

As seen in, “The Past is Red.”

The finest sidekick in Fourpenny Woods.

Calliope knit this sweater for Eurydice (from “L’Espirit de L’Escalier”, available on Tor.com).

Secret milkshakes, not secret handshakes.

Secret milkshakes, not secret handshakes.

Rest soundly.

Rest soundly.

There’s a woman outside of Sheridan and she is eating the sin of America.

“Stories have a way of changing faces. They are unruly things, undisciplined, given to delinquency and the throwing of erasers. This is why we must close them up into thick, solid books, so they cannot get out and cause trouble.”

“I'm not lost, because I haven't any idea where to go that I might get lost on the way to. I'd like to get lost, because then I'd know where I was going, you see.”

“When you are born,” the Rock said softly, “your courage is new and clean. You are brave enough for anything: crawling off of staircases, saying your first words without fearing that someone will think you are foolish, putting strange things in your mouth. But as you get older, your courage attracts gunk, and crusty things, and dirt, and fear, and knowing how bad things can get and what pain feels like. By the time you’re half-grown, your courage barely moves at all, it’s so grunged up with living. So every once in awhile, you have to scrub it up and get the works going, or else you’ll never be brave again.”