Lost In The Cheese Tank Tops

The Lost Cactus Special Agent T-Shirt signifies you are a member of the elite, classified organization led by Cato the Alien. These agents are specially trained to recognize and apprehend shape-shifting aliens that have infiltrated our planet's civilization and are wreaking havoc at an alarming rate. Read "The Special", a short story in "Lost Cactus - The Second Treasury" which is due for publication Fall 2016. However, if you purchase this shirt, I will email a pdf of this story for your reading pleasure.

Whether you like to trip or you just want to show off a bit of color, this psychedelic full spectrum design is sure to send you down the rabbit hole to Wonderland. It's a tropical trip down to the center, get lost in its smoothness.

donald you're fired

A time of excess often becomes a time of intense stomach cramps. There’s so much delicious food and drink around we more often than not feel the need to cram it all into our faces. It seems like a good idea at the time but an hour or so later, as you hold the twenty-fifth cranberry liqueur-infused indulgent chocolate to your mouth something rumbling inside tells you you’ve made a very grave mistake. Cue several fruitless journeys to the toilet. Sat there on your porcelain throne your mind tells you “Poop!” but your stomach replies with an emphatic “No!”. War ensues between brain and bum with you caught up in the middle.

Embark on a Timeless Journey

Hold mummy's hand, little ones.

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We're Going to Have to Wrap the Vaccine in Cheese, Aren't We?

I am happy. Hear me roar.

Santa looking jacked and ready to swing his sack.

Show all the joy of the festive season.

The deep bass of the organ begins to sound as the demonic choir open their books and sing their unholy carols.

What a stinking year it was.

Compsognathus is a genus of small, bipedal, carnivorous theropod dinosaur.

The joyful side of Death.

Residing in your nightmares but also on the Galápagos Islands this bird does NOT want to be your feathered friend. It does however want to drink your blood. Here the appropriately-named vampire finch is presented in the style of a terrible B movie poster for any discerning fashion avoider.

Sometimes you need an outside perspective.

The battle will be won. If you are a new mom or know someone who is going to be or is already a new mom they get this saying right away. :D

Behold The Crown || After The Burial

Coffee with real character.

That's enough.

Imagine if your child had drawn this picture. With this T-shirt you can remind everyone in the run-up to and during Christmas that the jolly fat man is watching them, always.

The jolly ol’ Daddy Chrimbo says hello!

Activate: beast mode

Coffee with a genuine flavour.

That frown can be turned upside down with one cwtch of a ‘friendly’ clown.

The Dears ----- Lost In The --------- {Plot}

Doodle Art Vector Illustration on a gradient background.

Santa of an undead flavour sits astride his trusty steed. Onward they march towards an unsuspecting world on Christmas Eve.

The stench hangs in the air and chokes all with unsuspecting nostrils who encounter it. It’s not Death’s fault though; it’s only natural!

Reminiscent of those posters you’d see in the 1980’s for animated films. A montage of a variety of odd-looking characters. Some of them have red eyes; are they the ‘baddies’? Who knows? Who cares? Well, perhaps that person at your Christmas party will enough to ask you what it’s all about. At this point you can act all smug like it’s a film ANY cool person has seen and recommend they watch it too. You can then carry on enjoying the party as they spend the rest of the evening on their phone trying to find any record of this cult animated classic.

As midnight on Christmas Eve approaches, Santa and his minions gather in the woods and plan their next move.

Get Lost To Be Found

Don't get lost, Little Red!