Multitasker Tongue In Cheek Tapestries

Simple white letters on black background: "At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I'd just go." How much worse could it get, realistically? Meh.

Simple white letters on black background: "At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I'd just go." How much worse could it get, realistically? Meh.

Simple white letters on black background: "This is my second rodeo." I got my boots on, I know what time the mutton bustin' starts, and I might even buy me a funnel cake. Yeehaw.

You can and should recycle many things but some things are just trash (or rubbish if you live in the UK or Australia). Tell people you do your own thing with this tongue-in-cheek design: Your opinion is trash.

Simple white letters on black background: "This is my second rodeo." I got my boots on, I know what time the mutton bustin' starts, and I might even buy me a funnel cake. Yeehaw.

"This is my second rodeo" in pink and orange old west letters. I got my boots on, I know what time the mutton bustin' starts, and I might even buy me a funnel cake. This ain't my first rodeo, y'all. Available in other styles and colors.

You've heard of tongue in cheek, but what if a creature had tongues as their cheeks? This lad was born.

Simple white letters on black background: "I'll be nicer if you'll be smarter." So many people who just want to make up their own facts; it's ridiculous and aggravating. It's like people CHOOSE to be stupid. Gah.

It's not that capitalism can't ever work. But it's not working right now. Rich getting richer, killing the planet, and us along with it. Time for a better system. Also available in simple blunt letters, in white or black.

Simple white letters on black background: "Yeah, nah." Put on your best Aussie accent and make it clear - yeah, nah.

Simple white letters on black background: "Make it make sense." Because these days there are too many things that are just batsh*t insane.

The Only Cola With the Power of Radium!

Classic portrait of a woman, Isabella Wolff, by Sir Thomas Lawrence, from the early 1800s. Vintage artwork modernized by the addition of a deadpan caption in bright white: "I simply cannot even". Find more updated art in this store: Planet Snark.

You can decide the level of sarcasm that goes along with this. Maybe you're genuinely having a great day. Maybe things are more sub-optimal than they've ever been. It's all in your tone - everything's JUST DUCKY.

"This is my second rodeo" in white old west letters. I got my boots on, I know what time the mutton bustin' starts, and I might even buy me a funnel cake. This ain't my first rodeo, y'all. Available in other styles and colors.

Simple white letters on black background: "How about no." Because you may as well get ahead of the question, amirite? The answer's more likely to be "no" than anything else so manage expectations up front.

"I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything." Charles Darwin wrote it in 1861 but it's just as true today. Eugh, it's too peoplely out there and everything sucks. Variants in color and typeface available.

Tongue

Imagine the world with more feminism and less bullshit. Better in every way, right?! This sweet looking floral slogan packs a punch; for activists and feminists everywhere. Find more Irreverent Truths in other designs and colors.

White grunge letters: "Gen X sais quoi." Gen X - the forgotten generation. Everyone's all up on the Boomers and the Millennials but we exist, dammit! Not that anyone indicates they know. Display this and change that.

Simple white letters on black background: "I just hope both teams have fun". When you like sports but they're not everything. Who cares about the score if everyone's having a good time?!

Medieval woodcut from Heidelberg University in Germany, now cleaned and restored, with tongue in cheek caption added. Like absurdist humor, wordplay, AND the middle ages? Wow, niche.

A classic portrait by the old master, Rubens, updated with a tongue in cheek caption in white letters: I HAVE SIMPLE TASTES. Of course you do, queen. That's a pretty basic ruff and you're only wearing, like, one crown.

Simple white letters on black background: "hérétique" (aka "heretique", French for "heretic"). Wear it like a badge of honor. Because no matter your beliefs, doubts are healthy.

Considering how we communicate on Planet Earth... Maybe we should be ruled by the Whales... After all, with their complex large brains and their capacity to take only what they need, not degrade their environment, and cooperate passively within the Oceans... maybe they make much more sense of their environment than we do... and if we could connect with them just like Dr. Spock did - What would George and Gracie say...??? Do we need to start beaming Whales up...? Or should we be beaming ourselves UP...!!??? o.O With so many dumb ass elections going down globally - I really do wonder... >:O

Simple white letters on black background: "I choose chaos." Hopefully you're chaotic good or at least chaotic neutral, not chaotic evil. Those people need to go through some things. But chaos can be creative, right?

Simple white letters on black background: "If only closed minds came with closed mouths." Life is for the learning and if you can't manage that, at least manage to keep quiet.

If you've ever wondered why humans don't have a specific noise that means there are bees here, let's leave immediately, and if you've wondered why elephants are more advanced than us, this is for you. Also available in black text.

Simple white letters on black background: "Same panic different disco." Move house - welcome a new year - start a new job - it might seem good at first, but you've always brought yourself along. Same panic, different disco.

Simple white letters on black background: "chaotic good". Do tumult and craziness follow in your wake, but people are always smiling and happy to see you? You break things but also make things? Bringer of chaos AND goodness.

Simple white letters on black background: "What a stupid time to be alive." To be fair, there have been more stupid times than smart times. Renaissance: Great. Serfdom, Black Death, and Trump as president - not great.

"This is my second rodeo." in plain white letters - cos you're not the noob, but barely

Simple white letters on black background: "Sorry, sunshine, wrong place." Don't go all anti-science around Winston Peters (or anyone else smart). Sorry, sunshine, wrong place.

Halloween is goyish Purim. You know it, I know it. Happy goyish Purim to all who celebrate it!

Simple white letters on black background: "S-M-R-T." I am so smart, S-M-R-T. Maybe you're smrt too. Prove it with this design.

Simple white letters on black background: "WHAT A STUPID TIME TO BE ALIVE". To be fair, there have been more stupid times than smart times. Renaissance: Great. Serfdom, Black Death, and Trump as president - not great.