CatBagz

People were real excited to tell us the end of the world was really close back when it was an alright place to live. Where's that end when everything sucks major ass?

Steven, what are you even doing in there? It's dinner time.

I feel like we've seen this line of reason before, but in a sort of perverted, reversed sense. Will history repeat itself again? At least this time there is tons of cake.

Smokey the Cat Bag has no comment.

Percy the Cat Bag is a friendly sort. The glare in his eyes has captured countless traumas. He is really staring right into your soul, isn't he? Likes warm spots and cheese wheels.

Percy the Cat Bag is a friendly sort. The glare in his eyes has captured countless traumas. He is really staring right into your soul, isn't he? Likes warm spots and cheese wheels.

Sam the Cat Bag has the big, beautiful eyes of a world-wandering cryptid. He might be behind you right now and you'd never know. As soon as you look, he becomes impossible to perceive. Because the Earth is fake. Loves skritches and hates loud noises.

Brand your schlubwagon and make sure everyone around you knows you've got problems. You've got a one-way ticket to crap town on the struggle bus.

Did you get kicked out of that other big name school for wizardry? Or maybe you couldn't afford the sky-high price tag of old money magical education? The Phoenix School of Remedial Wizardry welcomes you. Our curricula is basic – just right for the likes of you.

The Non-Emergency Medical Services of Greater Whiny County Wambulance is here to serve you during your hardships both real and perceived. Whether you are getting a little sweaty during brief yard work or just trying to find where you put your keys, we're here to remind you to check your butthole.

They can't all be winners.

Ever since TikTok I can't tell if you're being serious or not.

In this case, Smolensk could be viewed as literally anything that you thought was going to improve your life and the utter loss on your jester face is the realization that your life is going to continue to suck for the foreseeable future. Started a business? Bought a house? Living in squalor? Doesn't matter – here you are.

Let us celebrate the absolute metal ladies in our lives – especially the ones that live among the animals and shrubs in a forest glen and eat babies for a living.