hijackhippo

Description: The Internet Is Broken - So I'm Outside Today

Description: It's Okay If You Don't Like Me

Description: Keep Calm & Call Dad

Description: I Do All My Own Stunts, But Never Intentionally

Description: Warning - I Do Dumb Things

Description: I Like The Sound You Make When You Shut Up

Description: Warning - High Risk of Sarcasm

Description: Grammar Police - To Serve & Correct

Description: Follow Your Dreams - Get Back In Bed

Description: All My Passwords Are Protected by Amnesia

Description: First of all, No. Second, No

Description: Pluto - Never Forget

Description: Yes. I Can Drive A Stick

Description: Eh, Good Enough - Mediocrates

Description: Real Men Wear Skates

Description: Give blood - Play Hockey

Description: Will Exercise For Cupcakes

Description: I speak fluent sarcasm

Description: Will Exercise For Cupcakes

Description: I Used To Be A People Person - But People Changed That For Me

Description: Stop Petting My Peeves

Description: Rocking This Dad Bod

Description: My Kind Of Planking

Description: Time To Get Baked

Description: I tried to be Nice

Description: Naughty But Nice, I Multitask

Description: Merry Kiss My Ass

Description: How To Avoid A Meltdown

Description: I'm The Reason Santa Has A Naughty List

Description: Let's Get Elfed Up!

Description: Gangsta Wrapper

Description: Stop Staring At My Packages

Description: Chillin with my Gnomies

Description: A Very Corona Christmas

Description: I'm full of Christmas Spirit - Whiskey

Description: Flamboyant, Elegant & Slightly Nutty