Shorts
Description: This shirt is the passive-aggressive weapon of choice for corporate survivors, burnt-out middle managers, and anyone who’s mastered the ancient art of doing the bare acceptable minimum. Warning: Performance may be adequate. Why overachieve when you can survive? This shirt says what every spreadsheet warrior and cubicle cryptid already knows: meeting expectations is the new self-care.
Description: The DM said roll for damage. You rolled for revolution. This shirt fuses the iconic protester pose with the nerdcore energy of a 5th-level spell slot and zero regard for consequences. With blood-red lettering and stencil-style silhouette, it screams: This isn’t graffiti. It’s spellwork.
Description: Stolen from God, divine Wheelie Reckoning Speed blessed. Morals questionable. This design features a gloriously unhinged bagger doing a vertical stand on the edge of the apocalypse, framed by a holy billboard proclaiming your new religion: Ride it like you stole it from GOD. Because sometimes salvation looks like sparks, palm trees, and a Harley defying gravity.
Description: This shirt doesn’t whisper “unhinged.” It screams it from the rooftops while flipping off a drone. Featuring a chaotic compass of white arrows bursting outward, impaled by a blood-red anarchy symbol, and framed in battle-worn script — this tee is for those who don’t ask permission, and definitely don’t read instructions.
Description: For the girlies, gays, they/thems, and certified menaces. This cheeky little number is here to serve confidence with a side of chaos. Whether you’re domming in a crop top, serving in a skirt, or just walking into rooms like you own them and everyone inside, this shirt says what your eyeliner already screamed.
Description: 🖤 Repent? Never heard of her. Worship at the altar of bad behavior with this gloriously blasphemous tee featuring three dominantly divine nuns dressed to sin — and slay. With a neon pink cross and bold white font, this design is the holy trinity of camp, kink, and chaotic good.
Description: Move along. Nothing to see here. Definitely not Mothman. This shirt features a shadowy Bigfoot and a suspiciously familiar Jedi-style mind trick, warning the world: “These are not the cryptids you are looking for.” Great for those who believe in the unseen… and really don't want to talk about it.
These Are Not the Cryptids You’re Looking For – Sasquatch Disinformation Shorts
$21 $27
Description: For when your brain needs a ritual, a spinner, and a snack. You’re not summoning evil. You’re summoning focus. Maybe. Eventually. This shirt features a chaotic pentagram made of pink neon anxiety and encircled with fidget toys, cursed cuteness, and just enough skull energy to keep the normies away.
Description: Screaming, stimming, and vibing in the void. Finally, a shirt that says “I have special interests and you will fear them.” This brutalist, black metal-inspired design takes the word AUTISM and renders it in the cursed, spiky font of underground death cults and Scandinavian noise bands.
Description: Welcome to Atropia — the most fictional country you never wanted to deploy to. If you've trained, roleplayed, or simulated combat scenarios in this imaginary land of not-Azerbaijan, congratulations: you're now eligible for this cursed piece of tactical sarcasm. One nation under doctrine. With MREs and PowerPoints for all.
Description: Introducing the most confusingly powerful creature in the ocean — this shrimp has heart-shaped sunglasses, zero shame, and too much swagger for a mortal realm. Whether you're neurospicy, seafood-aligned, or just operating on main character energy with no map, this shirt is your new chaotic comfort fit.
Description: When the system crashes, call the real professional. This vintage pixel-style graphic features a furious little primate — your new emotional support IT guy — ready to troubleshoot with extreme prejudice. The cracked computer? Deserved it. This one’s for the sysadmins, software devs, help desk heroes, and anyone who’s been personally victimized by outdated software and user error. Or honestly, just for the chaos gremlins who love gorilla tech support.
Description: A fiery, golden nugget hurtles through the sky. Dino nuggets scream in terror. The ketchup is flowing. The ranch is chilling. The end is crispy. Welcome to The Great Nugget Extinction — the shirt that perfectly captures your childhood joy and your adult existential dread. Cartoon chaos meets culinary catastrophe in this absurdly adorable dino nugget disaster scene. Perfect for weirdos, food lovers, paleontologists with a sense of humor, and anyone who’s ever whispered “I would die for that dino.
Description: Loud. Proud. Radiating hoe energy. This gloriously unhinged graphic design features the word “HOE” in bold block letters bursting with neon starburst rays in red, orange, yellow, and toxic green. It’s giving retro rave meets spicy chaos — perfect for your wall, laptop, water bottle, or alter ego. This isn’t just a word. It’s a vibe. A declaration. A fluorescent bat signal for the unfiltered and unbothered.
Description: Forget Oz—this is a journey down the rainbow road of queer taxonomy. Featuring a gummy bear, a leather-clad otter, and a suspiciously twink-shaped candy, this design is a celebration of LGBTQ+ identities with a cheeky twist (and some harness hardware). Perfect for pride events, leather lovers, and anyone who wants to wear their queerness like a badge—and giggle while doing it. 🐻 Bright, cheeky, and unapologetically gay 🦦 Available as a print, shirt, or sticker 🍬 Designed by Icarus Fidget – where weird meets wearable (and queer as hell) Because the queer zoo is open, and we brought candy.
Description: You said “agree to disagree,” but unfortunately, I’ve already drawn my line in the sand. This deceptively minimal design features clean typeface... until it doesn’t. A furious red annotation turns a tired internet idiom into a full-blown threat, and it’s never looked more aesthetic.
Description: Not all spirit animals whisper. Some roar with wings. This vibrant design features a majestic grizzly bear crowned with iridescent cosmic wings in shades of violet, indigo, and ultraviolet fire. Equal parts primal and transcendental, it’s a power animal for the weird, the wild, and the wandering.
Description: Who says rebellion can't come with curves? “AnarThicc” is here to shut down your outdated beauty standards—loudly, proudly, and with maximum confidence. Featuring a fierce redhead with tattoos, curves, and ripped jeans, this shirt celebrates all bodies that dare to exist unapologetically.
Description: Welcome to the Djinn Joint, where wishes come true… for a price. This design fuses retro diner flair with supernatural sass, featuring glowing neon typography in a mystical pastel palette. Whether you’re into 1950s roadside Americana or ancient beings that grant ill-advised wishes, this one’s for you.
Description: Finally: a programming shirt for the coders who’ve cried into their keyboards AND summoned demons via Git. The queer devs, the ADHD code gremlins, and the feral tech witches of the world. No generic “trust me I’m an engineer” nonsense — this is for the ones who screech in the repo, cast spells with semicolons, and deploy with reckless abandon.
