Hats
Description: If your friends know that you like to read, somebody's going to try to tell you that you should read this piece of junk. It's not a good book. It's a delivery mechanism for 1980's pop-culture references that only exists to give readers a nostalgic feeling for older, better, things. Pre-empt that bullshit right now by wearing one of these shirts every single day of your life.
Description: "Hey, you're wearing glasses! Have you ever heard of this book by David Foster Wallace?" If you're a female-identifying individual who spends time in coffee shops, bookstores, or the kind of bars where they put egg whites in cocktails, you've invariably had to fend off this kind of attention. Hell, a lot of men deal with it too. DFW fans are an aggressive breed. Head them off at the pass with a shirt that says "Umm, nope." "Infinite Jest" is a good book but no book deserves to be as over-explained and used as a cultural signifier, let alone one about drugged-out teenagers who play tennis. Tell the world you're over it.
DSM Hat
$19
Description: Do you ride a crab? Do you fantasize about riding a man-eating killer crab with the sentience and inner life of a GI Joe villain? Do you enjoy podcasts about questionable literature? If so, this is the shirt for you. Advertisement your membership is the world's first Bad Literature Appreciation Union with this exclusive design by J. W. Friedman.
