FREE US Shipping for Orders  $70+
Cover image
Profile image
Fearless taste explorer, but Malort? Nope! Its bitterness left an enduring mark on my palate.

Shorts

Malort: Champagne of Pain Shorts

Description: Introducing our 'Malort: Champagne of Pain' apparel, celebrating the bold spirit of Chicago's infamous liqueur. Embrace the bitter-sweet charm with our stylish range, perfect for those who dare to defy convention. From classic tees to hoodies, each piece embodies the resilient spirit of the Windy City. Wear it proudly and join the ranks of those who appreciate life's unexpected flavors. Toast to the adventurous journey with Malort – the Champagne of Pain.

Tags: booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails, funny
Malort: Lichtenstein Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Elevate your style with a Malört-themed T-shirt featuring Roy Lichtenstein's iconic crying woman proclaiming "Not Malört." This artistic blend of pop culture and bitter rebellion is perfect for those who appreciate both the avant-garde and the distinctively bold taste of this legendary spirit.

Tags: booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails, funny
Malort: MegaStore Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Experience the bold twist of Malört pride with our T-shirt sporting the iconic Costco logo playfully reimagined. This shirt is a humorous nod to the unique flavor that transcends the ordinary, inviting you to embrace the Costco-sized bitterness of this legendary spirit.

Tags: booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails, costco
Malort: Join the Barf League - Hey Meatball Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Add a playful twist to your wardrobe with our Malort-themed T-shirt featuring a quirky illustration of a meatball humorously expressing its reaction to the legendary Chicago spirit. This shirt is a lighthearted nod to the unforgettable taste of Malort, making it the perfect conversation starter for those who appreciate a dash of humor with their Windy City pride.

Tags: barf, booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails
Malort: It's a Trap! Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Navigate the bold and bitter waters of Malört with our exclusive T-shirt featuring Admiral Akbar exclaiming, "It's a trap!" This clever design is a playful nod to the unexpected and distinctive experience of this legendary spirit, perfect for those who appreciate a taste adventure.

Tags: booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails, funny
Malort: Anti-Malort League - Flying Monkey Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Take your sense of humor to new heights with our Malort-themed T-shirt featuring a flying monkey comically declaring membership in the "The Anti Malort League." This playful design not only pays homage to Chicago's unique spirit but also adds a whimsical touch, making it the perfect shirt for those who appreciate a blend of irreverence and Windy City charm.

Tags: barf, booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails
Malort: Pure Evil Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Indulge in the dark allure of Malört with our "Pure Evil" T-shirt. This shirt captures the essence of the notorious spirit, combining its uniquely bitter flavor with a touch of wicked style for those who dare to embrace the darker side of libation.

Tags: alcohol, booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails
Malort: Join the Barf League - Cat Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Inject humor into your wardrobe with our Malort-themed T-shirt featuring a whimsical illustration of a cat playfully tossing its cookies, perfectly encapsulating the unexpected reaction to Chicago's famed spirit. This shirt not only showcases your adventurous taste buds but also adds a touch of feline mischief, making it a purr-fect conversation starter for those who appreciate the lighter side of sipping on Malort.

Tags: barf, booze, booze funny, cat, chicago
Malort Made Baby Jesus cry Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Embrace the bold and bitter legacy of Malört with our exclusive shirt that proudly declares, "Malört Made baby Jesus cry." Crafted with a touch of humor, this shirt is perfect for those who appreciate the unique and unforgettable taste of this iconic spirit.

Tags: alcohol, booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails
Malort: Logo Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Elevate your style with our Malort-inspired T-shirt, featuring a sleek design that fuses the unmistakable Lonsdale logo with the bold name of Malort and elements of the State Flag. This shirt seamlessly blends streetwear aesthetics with Windy City pride, offering a unique and fashionable way to showcase your taste for adventure and the legendary flavor of Chicago's infamous spirit.

Tags: alcohol, booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails
Malort Sucks Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Unleash your rebellious spirit with our Malort-themed T-shirt, boldly adorned with the iconic black flag logo and the straightforward proclamation, "Malört Sucks." Perfect for those who appreciate a touch of irreverence, this shirt is a fearless statement against the notorious bitterness, turning a Chicago tradition into a symbol of defiance that's as bold as the city itself.

Tags: booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails, funny
Beware the Chicago Handshake Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Embrace Chicago's Eccentric Tradition with our Malort Chicago Handshake Tee! Featuring the iconic 'Handshake' of Malort and Old Style, this shirt pays homage to the city's bold spirit and unique taste. Crafted with utmost comfort, wear it proudly to show your love for Chicago and a sense of adventure in trying this legendary liquor. Whether you're a local or just passing through, this shirt is a conversation starter, connecting you with fellow enthusiasts who have shared the unforgettable Malort experience. Join the quirky camaraderie, and let the world know you've conquered the infamous 'Chicago Handshake'!

Tags: booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails, handshake
Even the Vikings hated Malort Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Make a bold statement with our "Even the Vikings Hated Malort" T-shirt, a humorous ode to the legendary resilience of those who dare to savor this iconic Chicago spirit. Crafted from soft, comfortable fabric, this tee not only showcases your witty side but also pays homage to the adventurous spirit of the Windy City. Wear it proudly, and let the world know that even the Vikings couldn't handle the unique flavor of Malort – a true badge of honor for the brave souls who call Chicago home.

Tags: booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails, gross
Malort: Worst. Decision. Ever. Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Embrace the bitter truth with our Malort-themed T-shirt that boldly declares, "Worst. Decision. Ever." Crafted for those with a daring sense of humor, this shirt is the perfect way to share a laugh while commemorating the unforgettable experience of tasting Chicago's infamous spirit. Wear it with pride and let everyone know you've survived the challenge, turning the worst decision into a badge of honor.

Tags: booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails, funny
Malort: Nope Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: For those who know the taste all too well and prefer to stay far away from it, this shirt is the ultimate expression of your refined palate. Crafted with top-quality materials, this shirt offers superior comfort, ensuring you feel at ease while making your 'NOPE' stance known to the world. Whether you're out with friends, attending parties, or exploring new adventures, this shirt will be your perfect companion, adding a touch of wit and personality to any outfit. Embrace your unique taste and show off your unwavering commitment to steering clear of malort. Wear it with pride, and let others know you're unafraid to say 'NOPE' to this notorious bever

Tags: booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails, liquor
Malort: Sports! Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Celebrate the bold clash of flavors with our Malort-themed T-shirt featuring a hockey or maybe a lacrosse player graphic. As you gear up for the game or hit the town, showcase your fearless spirit both on and off the field with this shirt, embodying the resilience it takes to conquer both the competition and the unique taste of Chicago's legendary spirit.

Tags: booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails, funny
Malort: Punshiment for your mouth Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Embrace the daring spirit and wear this statement piece that's sure to spark conversations and elicit curious glances. Crafted with premium materials, this shirt not only makes a powerful statement but also ensures supreme comfort throughout the day. Whether you're a fan of the infamous malört liquor or simply appreciate the witty humor, this shirt is a must-have for those who embrace life's challenges with a touch of audacity. Share your fearless attitude with the world and let your unique taste shine!

Tags: booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails, liquor
Pop-art malört Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Embrace Iconic Quirkiness with our Malort Pop Art T-Shirt! Inspired by the legendary Andy Warhol's vibrant style, this shirt features a mesmerizing display of multi-color bottles of Malort, blending art and wit seamlessly. Channel the spirit of the art world while showcasing your love for this notorious liquor. Crafted with soft and breathable fabric, this shirt ensures all-day comfort as you become the walking canvas of creativity. Whether you're a fan of Malort or an art enthusiast, this unique design will draw attention and spark conversations wherever you go. Elevate your wardrobe with a touch of pop art allure and make a statement that's as bold and distinctive as the legendary drink itself!

Tags: andy warhol art, booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails
The Many Faces of Malört Shorts
Main Tag:  

Description: Expressive Flavors Unite on Our Malort Tasting T-Shirt! Embrace the diverse range of reactions to this infamous beverage as multiple faces sample the enigmatic taste of Malort. This artistic and humorous design captures the essence of shared experiences, from wincing grins to pleasantly surprised expressions. Whether you're a seasoned Malort enthusiast or a curious adventurer, wear this shirt proudly and join in the fun of exploring this unique liquor. Celebrate the art of tasting and showcase your love for the unconventional with our Malort Tasting T-Shirt - a standout addition to any wardrobe.

Tags: booze, booze funny, chicago, cocktails, liquor

Cart Preview (0)

You're $70.00 Away from FREE US Shipping!
$0
$70

Powered by

TeePublic

Sort & Filter