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jslbdesigns

Kalamazoo, MI, United States
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Description

There's so much to love about riding a dirt bike. The freedom, the air, and mostly, the speed!

Tags: motocross, dirtbike, dirt-bike-riding, dirt-bike, dirtbiker

Description

There are many reasons why a man might not have hair on the top of his head. In my case, it's for your benefit. I'd be a shame to cover up this beautiful, shiny crown.

Tags: mpb, male-pattern-baldness, alopecia, noggin, shiny-head

Description

People always say that practice makes perfect. Who are these people? They must not be watching me practice, because clearly, practicing isn't helping.

Tags: witty, joke, humor, saying, sarcastic

Description

Around the holidays, I'm the life of the party. It's not because I'm an energetic person. It's because I have the Christmas spirits!

Tags: spirits-seasons, spirits, vodka, drinking, alcohol

Description

Some people like to keep their thoughts to themselves. Me? I say what's on my mind. I leave my filter at home!

Tags: speak-my-mind, no-filters, dont-care, no-fucks-to-give, no-fucks-given

Main Tag
Description

Look! In the back corner of the kitchen! It's the elusive, majestic, white wino!

Tags: i-love-wine, wine-lover, love-wine, wine-drinking, wine-drinker

Description

Life is challenging. Sometimes, we just need to take a step back and realize how small we truly are in the large cosmos to realize that the little things don't really matter. Sometimes, we just need a little space.

Tags: moon, cosmic, planets, planet, sky

Description

I always hear about these amazing alien abduction stories where people are carried up by a blinding light beam into a UFO, but for some reason, I haven't had a chance to experience it yet. I guess it's like high school sports - I'm always picked last.

Tags: ufo-abduction, ufo-abductees, ufo-abductions, alien-ufo, funny-alien

Description

I'm not as lazy as you think I am. I'm just waiting for the right moment...

Tags: sarcastic, sarcasm, procrastinators, lazy, procrastination

Description

Growing up, we were all told to believe in something. I like to believe I can turn water into wine! Probably not what my parents had in mind...

Tags: wine-humor, funny-wine, love-wine, i-love-wine, red-wine

Description

It's not that I'm lazy. I just prefer to wait to do things until they absolutely need to be done. Call me efficient.

Tags: procrastinators, lazy, procrastination, procrastinate

Description

People constantly tell me that everything I say is cheesy. Little do they know, I'm actually pretty sharp!

Tags: dad-humor, bad-jokes, cheese-humor, funny-cheese, cheesy

Description

Everyone has it backwards. Recess isn't for the kids. It's for the teachers! With everything they have to deal with in the classroom each and every school day, teachers are the ones that deserve a break!

Tags: classroom, school, teachers, recess, teacher-humor

Description

Just cause I collect a paycheck doesn't mean I do any work. In fact, I'm pretty much retired. I have a job, but I've checked out mentally!

Tags: retired, lazy, lazy-worker, checked-out, mentally-retired

Description

I don't know why babies get to sleep so much. Parents get tired too! In fact, most of the time, the parents are the ones that need the rest!

Tags: shut-eye, baby, newborn, new-parents, parents

Main Tag
Description

Have you ever had someone repeat something to you, just to try to get their point across? The next time that happens, tell them that repeating themselves doesn't make what they say true. Make sure you tell them twice...

Tags: witty, sarcastic-phrases, sarcasm-lover, sarcasm-sayings, sarcastic-saying

Main Tag
Description

Most people don't know what it means to work. Farmers aren't like most people though. They've already put four hours of work in before most people's alarms go off!

Tags: hard-worker, hard-work, agriculture, organic-farmer, organic-farm

Main Tag
Description

Who needs a car when you have a bike? Not only do you save on gas, you get a workout AND save the planet!

Tags: love-cycling, save-earth, save-the-planet, bicycle, bicycling

Description

Every sport has its unwritten rules. When it comes to hockey, everyone knows that someone is going to end up in the penalty box after getting in a fight. The game doesn't end until someone gets their teeth knocked out!

Tags: hockey-dentist, hockey-player, hockey-fan, penalty-box, hockey-puck

Description

Hockey is truly unique. What other sport allows players to fight as a normal practice? Get on the ice; it's time to drop the gloves!

Tags: hockey-team, hockey-player, hockey-fights, hockey-fight, hockey-lover

Description

We can't all be smart, right? Some of us simply aren't all there in the head. We can't help it; we were born this way. We simply have a few screws loose!

Tags: out-of-my-mind, insane, crazy, dumb, idiot

Description

They always say you have to walk before you run. The same can be said about riding a motorcycle. You start with something easy, like a car, then graduate to a bike. Unfortunately, most people never lose their training wheels.

Tags: biker-club, motorcycle-club, bike, ride, rider

Main Tag
Description

Just cause your bicycle only has two wheels doesn't mean you don't deserve to be on the road. Share the road with those who like to ride.

Tags: love-cycling, share-the-road, riding, bicycles, bike

Main Tag
Description

There's nothing like a nice cup of coffee to start the day... or end the day, break up the day, and so on. Coffee is great pretty much all the time!

Tags: morning, cafe, roast, grind, latte

Description

Whether you work on a dairy farm milking cows, or you simply can't get enough of the delicious beverage, there's one thing we can all agree on: we're milkin' it - all day, every day.

Tags: dairy, bovine, milk, cow, udders

Description

There are many reasons why people own motorcycles. Some love the feel of the wind on their face when they're riding down the open road, while others love being part of a club. One thing that bikers can all agree on is that you'll never get stuck in traffic!

Tags: motorcycles-biker-lovers, motorcycle-club, ride-or-die, motorbikes, motorbike

Description

Bikers are known for their toughness, so if you see someone riding a motorcycle in your direction, just remember one thing: don't mess with the vest.

Tags: biker-club, motorcycleclub, motorbikes, bikers, ride

Description

Grab your rod and find a good spot in the water. It's time to go fly fishing.

Tags: fishing-is-my-favorite, fishing-is-my-hobby, fly-fishing-lover, fishing-lover, fishing-is-my-life

Description

You might love golfing, but golf doesn't love you back. When you take the course, people grab their clubs, hop in their golf carts, and run for cover. You're so bad that the trees even feel bad for you!

Tags: suck-at-golf, bad-at-golf, bad-golfer, funny-golf, golf-funny

Description

If you work with wood on a regular basis, you know better than anyone that you don't make mistakes. If someone finds an imperfection in your work, they can rest assured that it was intentional. At least, that's what you'll tell them...

Tags: carpenter-funny, carpenters, wood-worker, woodworking, woodworker

Description

Why does there have to be four seasons? Winter is too cold, spring is too rainy, and summer is too hot! Why can't it just be autumn all year long?

Tags: hate-spring, hate-summer, hate-winter, autumn-colors, autumn-leaves

Description

Everyone always says they would love to have banker hours, working from 9 to 5. While that seems nice on the surface, how would you get your shopping done?

Tags: nine-to-five, 9-to-5, lazy-working, hate-job, hate-work

Description

Golfing is your passion. In fact, everyone that knows you knows exactly where they can find you on the weekends - on the golf course in the woods, water, or sand trap!

Tags: suck-at-golf, sand-trap, bad-golfer, bad-at-golf, funny-golf

Description

In American football, the kicker is often looked at as the weakest player. However, in real football, or soccer, kickers are the most important players on the field.

Tags: kicker, fifa, futball, futbal, soccer-player

Description

To those that are close to you, material gifts are meaningless. What they truly want is something from the heart. The best gifts don't come with a price tag.

Tags: gift-of-love, gift, give-to-others, love

Description

There are some things that you simply can't put a price tag on. One of those things is your time. To those in need, your time is priceless. Volunteer, and give to those who need it the most.

Tags: giving, give, volunteerism, love, help-people

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