Brother Boltinloaf’s

Description: Stare into the vortex and… sleep

Description: Big Tuna, Texas, a fictional town in the David Lynch film Wild at Heart, 1990.

Description: A quote from David Lynch, as FBI regional bureau chief Gordon Cole, from Twin Peaks.

Description: He hasn’t had any complaints.

Description: The night I got to meet Fritz the Nite Owl

Description: Veldora Peterschlit’s A Fried Bologna Christmas, a classic Christmas album

Description: Clowns are people too.

Description: Let this dandy gentle-person join you for spot hot tea.

Description: Happy Halloween! Buy this awesome Jack o lantern design, or it just might haunt you… w0oOo!! Wo0Oo0oo!

Description: Wear this to let people know you are part of the Teal Pumpkin Project, making sure kids with allergies can have a safe trick or treat.

Description: It’s a creepy pink pumpkin. Get scared already.

Description: Time to get your Halloween gear on

Description: Mind Your Own F***ing Business! It’s not that hard to do.

Description: Team Godzilla or Team King Kong? Either way you can’t go wrong.

Description: It’s too late… the invasion from above has begun. Feel free to return to your regularly scheduled program and await further instructions.

Description: Obey your protectors!

Description: Whatever it is, now is the time, do not put off what you want to do today.

Description: Provisional emotional status for some, persistent mental stasis for others.

Description: People, places, and things, aren’t just nouns, but they are all haunted.

Description: Let everyone, including your local Park Ranger, know that you are a BEAR and expect to be left alone to sleep like one.

Description: Not to be compared to a vampire slayer, Twink Slayer’s do not penetrate the heart*. *No twinks were harmed during slaying.

Description: Am I the drama? Certainly, I am not the drama.

Description: If you enjoy ASMR you know how amazing the tingles are. Tingle on!

Description: Nothing relaxes me more than my headphones spilling fresh ASMR snaps, taps, and pops directly into my brain. True story.

Description: I absolutely love falling asleep to tapping, mouth sounds, and whispering incoherently. True story.

Description: Hey, are those hush-puppies flavorful, tasty, & crispy? Yes, but they are also in a hush-puppy cult and want to welcome you to the hush-puppy table.

Description: Hey, is that cupcake flirting with me? Yes. No. Maybe.

Description: Hey, did that burrito see a ghost? Clearly. That and tons of Botox.

Description: Hey, is that corn on the cob judging me? Yes, Jeb, it is. It always is.

Description: Hey, are those Kadaifi staring at me? Yes. Yes they are.

Description: Hey, is that cake giving me the stink eye? They who smelt it, dealt it.

Description: Hey, is that pie staring at me? Yeah, punk, it is.

Description: UFO, Unexpected Friend Opportunity. The eclipse can’t hide our space neighbors forever.

Description: UFO is another way to say, friend I haven’t met yet. Unexpected Friend Opportunity.

Description: Let everyone know, you aight.

Description: Why not rock a Brother Boltinloaf logo? It only makes sense, especially in this economy, mmmm nom nom nom.