Socks
Description: Listen up, Crawlers! Have you been skipping leg day? Have your pathetic, fleshy stems been chewed off by a pack of level 4 Scatterers? Or perhaps you were just dumb enough to choose a race that didn't come with any to begin with? Well, fear not, my intrepid, soon-to-be-dead contestants! Because Jamal's Prosthetics is here to save you from yourselves! Look at this magnificent beast! That’s right, a fully armored, six-legged hydraulic chassis complete with an integrated, underbelly flamethrower! This isn't just an upgrade; it's a completely necessary survival mechanism for those of you hoping to make it past the tutorial levels. With Jamal's "Top Quality Legs," you'll be stomping through the 9th floor like it’s a walk in the park.
Jamal's Prosthetics - Top Quality Legs - Dungeon Crawler Carl Socks
$14 $20
Description: You may have fought in Afghanistan, or maybe Iraq, or somewhere else- but have you defended Torbia? This design celebrates the defense of South Torbia due to the war of North Torbian agression. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, you probably haven't spent a FTX / WAREX / STAFFEX planning and executing the defense of this peninsula.
Description: You may have fought in Afghanistan, or maybe Iraq, or somewhere else- but have you defended Torbia? This design celebrates the defense of South Torbia due to the war of North Torbian agression. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, you probably haven't spent a FTX / WAREX / STAFFEX planning and executing the defense of this peninsula.
Description: Step 1: you know what Atropia is. Step 2. You've survived Atropia. Step 3. You've returned from defending Atropia in the War of Donovian Agression. Step 4: ... Step 5: Wear a shirt and profit! You've sacrificed at a bunch of crappy places somewhere in the world training for the Allied military defense of a made up country because your government told you to. Wear your training ribbons with pride Private, Sailor, Airman, Guardian, or Marine! You've earned it.
Description: Note: this is a similar design to another I've uploaded - this is the one WITHOUT a background... Step 1: you know what Atropia is. Step 2. You've survived Atropia. Step 3. You've returned from defending Atropia in the War of Donovian Agression. Step 4: ... Step 5: Wear a shirt and profit! You've sacrificed at a bunch of crappy places somewhere in the world training for the Allied military defense of a made up country because your government told you to. Wear your training ribbons with pride Private, Sailor, Airman, Guardian, or Marine! You've earned it.
Description: Sure, I'm trying to make fun of the Federal Government for getting rid of all the Diversity Equity and Inclusion programs. So, I figured we'll just start our own Federal Government DEI team. Find some friends, make some new friends, share some thoughts. Remember to be inclusive - this includes sharing space with people in red hats too (it's tough, I know).
Description: Be proud to inspect the next party or gathering you attend for diversity. Help people gathered meet, expand their circles and understand the wide world. Sometimes people need a push to understand viewpoints different from their own, the FDI is here to provide that. You can provide that.
Description: Make sure the next party you attend is diverse enough. Shush oppressors who are keeping down those who may want to attend but cannot for fear of retaliation (or deportation). Become an (un)official Champion for those who cannot or will not stand up for their fears of being discovered as "diverse".
Description: The Federal Department of Inclusivity needs you. Since there's no FDI, and if there was one - there wouldn't be any funding - lets rally and gather as friends, associates, colleagues, or dare I say lovers in the night? Slap a shirt on and befriend on another. As friends we take the power back. Organize. Go forth minions. Be proud. Be diverse. Be inclusive. Be you.
Description: Thanks Nixon. We've been making HMO's wealthy and they've been bleeding us try for sub-par healthcare for over 50 years. Lets celebrate with a T-shirt (or other apparel). This also works as a bandage, should you injure yourself (not recommend or endorsed for this use). Should you injure yourself, you probably won't have coverage at any location near you, or with any providers, or for any medications, or for any procedures. Don't deny, defer, or delay - buy something today!
Description: Your blood fuels a multibillion dollar industry that pays for luxuries lifestyles you may one day hope to dream about. If you could sleep. But you can't, probably because you can't afford therapy or medication. But this merch, that you can afford. And you can wear it. Take a stand and say enough is enough. Maybe we will start a movement.
