Quoth the Maven

Description: Nothing like a motivational speech by a Persian cat to get your blood flowing!

Description: The Dungeon AI always has an opinion

Description: Even Princess Donut's sweet moments seem snarky out of context

Description: Princess Donut knows her limitations, and so should you.

Description: Channel your inner Cascadia and remember to kill, kill, kill!

Description: If purple is your color, the Enchanted Crown of the Sepsis Whore was made for you.

Description: Show off the love you share with Princess Donut for 90s alternative bands.

Description: “When the Black Death swept through 14th century Europe, killing upwards of 200 million people and forever altering the course of human history, one of the original culprits of the epidemic was said to be the black rat, carrying plague-infested fleas into population centers to wreak their destruction. This is, in fact, not true. The true perpetrator was actually the Asian great gerbil... This is only important to know because Ralph, champion pit fighter of the kobold training grounds, lives his life in a perpetual state of rage... He feels that human death toll of 200 million is much too low, and he will do everything in his power to triple that number. Starting with you."

Description: When the Corporation has its boot on your neck, let them know how you feel.

Description: You somehow managed to remove the hostility of an aggravated, non-sapient enemy. That enemy then fought against other enemies to your benefit. The ghost of Steve Irwin smiles down upon you.

Description: This is toast. It refills your mana. That’s it. Nothing more. Fuck you.

Description: More wisdom from the world of Thursday Next.

Description: “Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech.” Slang so stupid it hurts.

Description: "Coexist" is so last year's bumper sticker. Declare your belief in the Global Standard Deity.

Description: Who knew a quote from a 2001 book would still be relevant in the 2020s?

Description: Let everyone know to underestimate you, then blow them away.

Description: The Maestro's sign off on his love letters takes a cue from Gossip Girl.

Description: Everyone's favorite cynical android, just telling you how it is.

Description: Starting gear for the biggest bad-ass of the apocalypse.

Description: So you played the Snick and now you know what it's like to be Carl's Naughty Little Piggie. Here's your reward.

Description: Only for fans of Death Watch Extreme Dungeon Mayhem

Description: New Achievement! Loot! You're wearing something you found in the dungeon. Reward: You're now a handsome SOB. That's reward enough.

Description: Samantha will definitely kill your mother.

Description: Right in my G-D ear.

Description: What is Mongo appalled about? It's up to you.

Description: With Princess Donut on your team, you're sure to win.