Xanaduriffic

Whether it's The First Wives Club, Sleepers, The Godfather, or Something's Gotta Give, let Diane Keaton imbue you with her cool. That's how I get mine.

Friends, never give up the fight for your own rights. What the hell else do you have but your body?

Who needs calm adulting when you can f***ing d*** s*** *** ****** *****ing ***** your way through life? Swearing is a sign of intelligance! (True story.)

Friends, anyone can be a gen-u-ine bitch, which is good--because bitches get stuff done.

Some days are made for Satan. I don't make the rules. Satan does.

Real men like Jake and Elwood Blues. The Blues Brothers movie was very formative for me, seeing as my dad made me watch it 83093 times before I turned ten. I am officially warped in the coolest way.

Sorry if you weren't lucky enough to grow up with The Goonies, but better late than never, friends!

So which archetype are you?

A fabulous aura definitely makes up for all the child abuse, Joan!

The Blues Brothers movie was very formative for me, seeing as my dad made me watch it 83093 times before I turned ten. I am officially warped in the coolest way.

Could happen to anyone! Especially if you're named Heather.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure is one of the greatest movies of all time. No arguments.

Greatest movie musical of all time, don't argue.

So which one are you? A brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, or a criminal? Peronslly, I vote basket-case criminal, but that's just me.

They just don't make 'em like this anymore.

Sally Field as the Flying Nun? Nyan Cat? Wh can say?

People. What a bunch of bastards.

Sigh. In the good old days, it coulda been cocaine from the pharmacy, too.

Yes, you are. Remember that.

I have my to-do list!

And bring a friend, girl.

Women's rights are great, but what of women's wrongs? Support them!

As do bitches.

You are, and don't you dare forget it!

So why bother?

Otherwise, they will never learn.

And don't you dare apologize.

All the important things, duh

Because why not damn

After all, what else is important?

I put the "fiction" in "pulp" with these feminist satirical classic pulp fiction parodies. Check out my other books/magazines, "Broodmare," "Catcallers in Space," "Dump Him Magazine," "Dying Alone," "Feminist Killjoy," "Horses!" "Misandry Tales," "Nasty Woman," "Nazis Suck," "Online Dating Weekly," "Said No Woman Ever," "She Left Her Cat For This," "Sleep!" "Tales of the Patriarchy," "Crazy Cat Lady," "Man Splain, Private Eye," "Science Quarterly," "The Gay Agenda," "The Shocking Spinster," and "The Feminist Agenda."

I put the "fiction" in "pulp" with these feminist satirical classic pulp fiction parodies. Check out my other books/magazines, "Broodmare," "Catcallers in Space," "Dump Him Magazine," "Dying Alone," "Feminist Killjoy," "Horses!" "Misandry Tales," "Nasty Woman," "Nazis Suck," "Online Dating Weekly," "Said No Woman Ever," "She Left Her Cat For This," "Sleep!" "Tales of the Patriarchy," "Crazy Cat Lady," "Man Splain, Private Eye," "Science Quarterly," "The Gay Agenda," "The Shocking Spinster," and "The Feminist Agenda."

I put the "fiction" in "pulp" with these feminist satirical classic pulp fiction parodies. Check out my other books/magazines, "Broodmare," "Catcallers in Space," "Dump Him Magazine," "Dying Alone," "Feminist Killjoy," "Horses!" "Misandry Tales," "Nasty Woman," "Nazis Suck," "Online Dating Weekly," "Said No Woman Ever," "She Left Her Cat For This," "Sleep!" "Tales of the Patriarchy," "Crazy Cat Lady," "Man Splain, Private Eye," "Science Quarterly," "The Gay Agenda," "The Shocking Spinster," and "The Feminist Agenda."

I put the "fiction" in "pulp" with these feminist satirical classic pulp fiction parodies. Check out my other books/magazines, "Broodmare," "Catcallers in Space," "Dump Him Magazine," "Dying Alone," "Feminist Killjoy," "Horses!" "Misandry Tales," "Nasty Woman," Nazis Suck," "Online Dating Weekly," "Said No Woman Ever," "She Left Her Cat For This," "Sleep!" "Tales of the Patriarchy," "Crazy Cat Lady," "Man Splain, Private Eye," "Science Quarterly," "The Gay Agenda," "The Shocking Spinster," and "The Feminist Agenda."

I put the "fiction" in "pulp" with these feminist satirical classic pulp fiction parodies. Check out my other books/magazines, "Broodmare," "Catcallers in Space," "Dump Him Magazine," "Dying Alone," "Feminist Killjoy," "Horses!" "Misandry Tales," "Nasty Woman," Nazis Suck," "Online Dating Weekly," "Said No Woman Ever," "She Left Her Cat For This," "Sleep!" "Tales of the Patriarchy," "Crazy Cat Lady," and "The Feminist Agenda."

I put the "fiction" in "pulp" with these feminist satirical classic pulp fiction parodies. Check out my other books/magazines, "Broodmare," "Catcallers in Space," "Dump Him Magazine," "Dying Alone," "Feminist Killjoy," "Horses!" "Misandry Tales," "Nasty Woman," Nazis Suck," "Online Dating Weekly," "Said No Woman Ever," "She Left Her Cat For This," "Sleep!" "Tales of the Patriarchy," "Crazy Cat Lady," and "The Feminist Agenda."