bransonreese

Description: What if Dean Martin came back as a baby bird? Well I think it might go a *little* something like this...

Description: Somebody does, though. Whoever that is, is who's gettin all my juicy prayers!

Description: Remember?

Description: (Yes)

Description: *Peter Griffin voice* "You tink Crime Dog's bad?"

Description: It's pizza. The popular food made famous on the TV show "The Sopranos"

Description: This bee has a blade, you see

Description: From the meme. Remember that meme? Funny thing about that meme is it wasn't a meme originally. It was just a comic I wrote on a takeout napkin about Simpsons porn. And now it's a meme that's been dead for at least four years. But I gotta pay rent, so here I am offering it up for sale. Capitalism, man. Sucks ass.

Description: This is a mouse named Michard. He does not go by any nicknames. He is immune to lawyers.

Description: One time I said sharks were smooth and nine thousand nerds yelled at me. Who's laughing now? Not me, because I'm in jail for selling my pee at the market as "spicy kombucha."

Description: Please do not listen to Crime Dog

Description: If you don't buy this, you don't love your wife. I'm sorry; I don't make the rules

Description: No specific brand loyalty here. Just, like, any old root beer.

Description: When I was a kid people were upset about Joe Camel because they thought he was going to encourage kids to smoke, when they should've been upset about something far deeper and darker that he was stirring in us.

Description: I can't think of a single good occasion for wearing this.

Description: We've all been there!

Description: This happy little egg chose to voluntarily fall off the table and take this baby bird with him to hell out of spite. Every time you wear this shirt you're going to have to look into people's eyes as you explain that to them.

Description: "Buddy, they won't even let me fuck him"

Description: Fair's fair!

Description: The perfect gift for that one friend we all have who masturbates the orcas at Sea World and has a real shitty attitude about it.

Description: It's been eating all of our airplanes out of the sky. Won't somebody kill this beast of the skies?

Description: She's going to burn down heaven. Will you stop her? Will you...help her?

Description: That lyric has always bothered me. And now the son is missing? Wow, what a fucked up day for everybody

Description: Testing the outer limits of what people are willing to spend money on

Description: Wear this shirt or the Sneaker Swan will kick your ass

Description: I drew comic where a character eats a Hurtz Donut and experiences immediate medical consequences. Now you can finally own the logo for it on a shirt or coffee mug or phone case. Finally. You can finally do that.

Description: You wood-ant undairstand. Please don't buy this shirt unless you're Gambit from the X-Men. If I find out I sold more than one of these shirts, I'm gonna be so pissed.

Description: And All I Got Was This Crummy Shirt

Description: For that common person you always run into. What a cherished gift.

Description: This fish would like very much for you to forget about it.

Description: this is for my sister, please don't buy it.

Description: It's good that he's dead

Description: My dad specifically requested this one.

Description: I should be in jail

Description: Somebody on twitter asked for a shirt of one of my letterboxd reviews. I'm not above this.