Description: Since we're forcing Torgo to watch movies he should have watched years ago, we might as well release some fabulous merch to go along with it. The profits from each purchase go toward buying the equipment to force his eyes open and keep them moistened with hot sauce while he is forced to watch the horrible movies we all had to sit through.
Description: His name is 80s Jeff, and his comedy is beyond you. You are like the buzzing of flies to him. Does a man consider an ant when walking in the grass? You are utterly beneath his gaze, and his comedy is far beyond your meager comprehension. The depths of his humor are as infinite as the void. Bring purpose to your meaningless existence and buy this merch.
Description: It's your fault the Satanic Panic happened. You shouldn't have been rolling dice and pretending to be wizards in your parents' basement, eating pizza and drinking soda, yelling about fireballs. Dungeons and Dragons is a gateway to a life of wickedness and eternal damnation, and it's all your fault. Now you can be proud of it!
