Long Sleeve T-Shirts
Description: Edward Lear's pristine 1832 macaw lithograph, paired with the truth about Long John Silver's parrot: two hundred years at sea, witness to everything, protected by nothing.
The parrot has heard some sh*t — Vintage Captain Flint Tee Long Sleeve T-Shirt
$18 $24
Description: A pirate scans the horizon in N. C. Wyeth's 1911 oils, thinking about exactly one thing. Ben Gunn's confession, sepia on cream, for everyone whose love language is melted cheese.
Dreaming of cheese. Toasted, mostly — Vintage Billy Bones Tee Long Sleeve T-Shirt
$18 $24
Description: A rare 1928 art-deco cover illustration of the Count looming over a sleeping victim, decades before Hollywood's cape — paired with the deadpan headline his neighbors never saw coming.
Local Man Ruins Blood Drive — Vintage Count Dracula Tee Long Sleeve T-Shirt
$18 $24
Description: Fred Barnard's Victorian engraving of Scrooge at his counting-house desk, from Dickens's 1843 *A Christmas Carol* — the patron saint of leaving the party early. Holiday cheer, delivered with the door already closing.
Merry Christmas. Now F*ck Off — Vintage Ebenezer Scrooge Tee Long Sleeve T-Shirt
$18 $24
Description: Fred Barnard's Victorian engraving of Scrooge glowering in his counting-house, straight from Dickens's 1843 *A Christmas Carol* — printed sepia-on-cream, decades before every feel-good TV remake sanded him down. Same festive contempt, considerably fewer f*cks given.
Bah, Humbug, Motherf*ckers — Vintage Ebenezer Scrooge Tee Long Sleeve T-Shirt
$18 $24
Description: John Leech's original 1843 hand-coloured Marley's Ghost plate, chains and all — the ghost who spends eternity dragging around the consequences of his own choices, reframed for anyone who relates a little too hard.
The Ghost of Bad Decisions — Vintage Jacob Marley's ghost Tee Long Sleeve T-Shirt
$18 $24
Description: John Tenniel's original 1865 engraving of the White Rabbit and his pocket watch, straight from Carroll's *Wonderland* first edition — Victorian line art, decades before the cartoon. For everyone perpetually running late to something they never agreed to.
I'm Late for Some Bullsh*t I Don't Even Care About — Vintage White Rabbit Tee Long Sleeve T-Shirt
$18 $24
Description: John Tenniel's 1865 artwork for Queen of Hearts — the authentic public-domain illustration, decades before any modern adaptation, printed sepia-on-cream like a page pulled from a first edition. Carries the line: “Off With His F*cking Head
Off With His F*cking Head — Vintage Queen of Hearts Tee Long Sleeve T-Shirt
$18 $24
Description: John Tenniel's 1865 artwork for Cheshire Cat — the authentic public-domain illustration, decades before any modern adaptation, printed sepia-on-cream like a page pulled from a first edition. Carries the line: “We're All Mad Here. Some Just Hide It Better.”
We're All Mad Here. Some Just Hide It Better — Vintage Cheshire Cat Tee Long Sleeve T-Shirt
$18 $24