FabulouslyFeminist

My morning ritual, for a very long time, has been to get up, start the electric kettle, brew an exceptionally strong pot of coffee in my french press, drink two large mugs on an otherwise empty stomach, and then a couple hours later wonder why I feel so jumpy and vaguely panicked...⁠ Is this just me??? Why do I do this to myself???

Learning To Step Into My Most Authentic Self

The older I get, the more rage I feel at how many years I struggled with someone else, anyone else, telling me I was wrong. Too queer. Too straight. F*ck that noooooiiise. I'm fed up. And no longer interested in being anyone other than exactly who I am. A frequently-pissed off Bi-Furious Babe. Damn it.

Unless I Am Myself I Am Nobody, Virginia Woolf

still struggling with the experience of being actually seen, noticed and understood??? this emotional bird totally gets it.⁠ #emotionalbird

Nooo Do Not Perceive Me

Even the busiest bees need rest and so do you

a gentle call to be present, in the moment, in our environment, to take it in and exhale through a lens of tenderness. 'Breathe it all in, love it all out.' - Mary Oliver

I Am Who I Am Doing What I Came To Do, Audre Lorde

I used to have a constant thrum of panic around all the things I wasn't doing, places I hadn't been, experiences I hadn't had. These days I am working on intentionally slowing down. That's been looking like long walks, puttering in the garden, crafting with kiddos, cooking delicious meals and just generally basking in the joy of missing out.⁠ #emotionalbirds

no need to hurry no need to sparkle no need to be anybody but oneself

I just can't stop thinking about how many queer children all over the world don't reach adulthood. How, many folx come out later in life, feeling both as though they missed out on so much time, and also grateful for not experiencing coming out at a younger, more vulnerable age. How horrifically sad it all is. This is not about bathrooms. This is not about religious freedom. All children deserve to be safe, to be loved, to be celebrated. 

That judgmental voice in my head hates me. I have to remember that. Whenever I think I haven't done enough. I wasted an entire day, a month, a year... No, there was no wasting, there was no laziness. I was healing. I was growing. I was resting. This is the uncomfortable truth, uncomfortable only in a capitalist world where humans are expected to work and go, and go, and go-- until we physically no longer can. No. That judgmental voice doesn't belong here. I am taking care of myself. I am growing. And, growth requires rest. ⁠ #emotionalbirds

I Am Coming Back To Myself

I took my meds today #emotionalbirds

I'm just grumpy

I Am Learning To Receive The Same Love I Give To Others

Part of trauma recovery is learning to trust in your own brain again, especially if you've experienced gaslighting and emotional abuse or neglect. This is such a vital aspect of building safety. ⁠ I honor my own emotions and experience.⁠ #emotionalbirds

I Told My Therapist All About You

I Told My Therapist All About You

what a lovely day to read a book

I Am Strange And Beautiful

I'm Flying Out Of F*cks

Do You Give A Hoot? Then Don't Perpetuate Intergenerational Trauma

Vice President Of Bisexual Affairs

I have rarely identified with and found comfort in the writings of a person in the way I do with the work of Mary Oliver. She reminds me not just to ground myself in my body, but also in the world. To look around and notice my environment and my relationship with the other creatures in that same environment. She connects me with a younger version of myself. The version who would wander through the woods, joyfully get lost, search out all the interesting and strange dried out plants each autumn with the hopes of making some kind of strange, sculptural masterpiece. The version who sat in a field, holding onto a notebook, trying to write down all the things she noticed around her. The small spider jumping in the grass. The birds swarming ...

I have been working on recognizing that I get to not do a thing simply because I don't want to. Not wanting to do something is enough of a reason, and no further justification is required. ⁠ ⁠ #emotionalbirds

Give yourself permission to dig into the things that interest you, that spark joy and passion. Throw caution and embarrassment to the wind. Be enthusiastic and cringey. This is your one life. Dig into it 💗

Hold On It's A Panic Attack

It has been so beautiful to get back to my life-long practice of reading. A gift given to me by my Mom, integrating reading into my daily life was core to my identity starting in childhood. I wandered away from that practice as life got busy, work got more and more stressful and my mental health deteriorated. I'm getting back there. Back to reading every day, back to exploring the things I love. And, I'm so grateful. "Life-transforming ideas have always come to me through books" - bell hooks

Do you ever feel like… your spinning, cycling emotions are just too b I g ?? That you just need to let yourself experience them, even the negative or dark ones?? I do. I bet lots of people do.⁠ I had a lot of fun with this sketchbook drawing, part of the Emotional Birds series I started a couple weeks ago. What eM0ti0N should I do next??⁠ .⁠ .⁠ I HAVE BIG FEELINGS⁠

I have always loved drawing and painting birds and it occurred to me when I was doodling last weekend that their funny, intense expressions and gestures might be excellent fodder for a casual series of illustrations. This is often how my brain feels: diD i mEntI0N iM IN theR4Py??

Little By Little The Healing Adds Up

I have struggled for a few days to settle on what to write for this piece. What did I have to say about the words of Mary Oliver? This morning I looked out at the quiet park through my front window, and I thought about the strange and beautiful trajectory my life has taken.⁠ But why strange? I think that is what this line means to me. I want to be improbable. Improbable? Improbable when compared to my past self, my past lives, the limitations I accepted both from myself and from others. I want grace and joy and freedom. I want wings.⁠

Here is your daily, loving reminder to keep watering yourself 🌱 I find that it can still be easy for me to forget in my hectic and stressful life that I am a complete, autonomous and embodied being, who needs the same kind of care and nourishment I strive to give to others. A year into my intensive trauma informed therapy journey & treatment for PTSD and I am still learning how to let my spirit bloom. 💖✨ Remember, we deserve to thrive, not just survive. 🌸

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