KETCHUM ART SHOP

This bold graphic is inspired by a line from T. S. Eliot's poem "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock." Duane Allman of the Allman Brothers was asked how he was helping the revolution. He said, “There ain’t no revolution, only evolution, but every time I’m in Georgia I ‘eat a peach’ for peace.” Allman quoted part of a line from Eliot's poem. It said, "Do I dare to eat a peach?” It's a metaphor for life. Eat it when it's young before old age spoils it. You might drip peach juice on your new dress or pants, but so what! Take the chance. Life can get messy. It can be sour or sweet. Risk it! Bite into it. Dare to eat the damn peach! If nothing more, eat it for peace! Evolve.

Announcement. I am the real thing, not an A.I creation. Nothing artificial or robotic or alien. A human being. Gifts for programmers, engineers, computer people and real honest to god humans. Or very smart machines who know how to order in bulk.

Identify as MALE? Declare it and then no one has to ask or guess. Like it's any of their bizness anyway. Such a question could give a guy a hissy fit. Yeesh.

Having a bad day? A moan day or a wails day? This design on tees, mugs and other stuff will cheer you up. Just say James Joyce’s words out loud. Shout the words. Loud. Pound your chest. Hard. Weep copiously. See. It worked! The design adapts a photo of James Joyce and pairs it with his iconic days of the week from “Finnegans Wake.” He called the work “a nightmaze.” Read it and see why. Do it this Frightday. Know an English major? This would be a perfect gift. Or a Burthday present?

The humanities are in danger of extinction. They are an endangered species. Our society has much more interest in technology and the science. Without the humanities, where will wisdom come from? A robot? Margery Taylor Green? The religious right? Yikes! Save the pandas, and the humanities!

Bright red flowers make it hard to ignore your power message: I'll show you! Is it a challenge? A threat? A boast? Whatever, it's a message with attitude. It's full of confidence and can-do. A little don't mess with me and a little bit can I help you. Yet, it's pretty too. Nice gift for a girlfriend. Find the design on tees, a magnet, a pillow and a bunch of stuff. After you make your purchase here on Teepublic, check out my award-winning fine art on Artspan, www.peterjketchum.com.

Hunting for someone yummy? Who needs OKCupid,Tinder, or Grindr when there's a tee or hoodie with this clear message, Cupcake? Thick, creamy icing with a cherry on top. Sweet. And if you're a male Cupcake, by dictionary definition soft and sweet, good luck with your hunt for a Studmuffin, too. It takes all flavors to make the world interesting. Also available on pillows, tanks, magnets, etc. Hope your search is a piece of cake! See my fine art on Artspan, www.peterjketchum.com But buy your tee or sticker first. Thanks.

MISSING LIBERTY shows one of the most recognizable faces in the world. Do you know who it is? The Statue of Liberty. Close up. She looks somewhat sad, though. Or maybe annoyed. Why? Maybe because of all the threats on our American freedoms and on our very democracy. Do your bit to keep the lamp of freedom lit for ALL people, and for our very democracy. Don’t let the muddled asses win. Don’t let liberty go missing. You can see my fine art on Artspan, peterjketchum.com. But buy a patriotic tee first! Thanks.

If you haven' been to work lately because of covid, a hangover or something, here's a new top to wear as part of your back to office or school outfit. I don't know what kind of place you work in, but if it's cool, just wear the tee and a large leaf of your own choosing. Also available on hoodies, tanks, etc. On mugs, pillows, magnets too. Order two tees and use the second one like a kilt. Set a new fashion trend.

This Terrified Terrier mix has stumbled on Adult Content video and can’t believe what it sees. What is wrong with you humans, the pooch screams. What are you doing on that table! The Terrified Terrier mutt is available on tees, pillows, mugs and a variety of other merchandise. Wear it to warn juveniles and the immature that you are suitable for Adults Only. Put the pillow on the couch in your entertainment center as a warning to all dogs. Thanks.

RED LIPS is a design adapted from the reworked cover of Jazz Age sheet music. Give it as a gift and you're bound to get kissed, blue or not. It is available on apparel, magnets, pillows and a bunch of stuff. “Red Lips, Kiss My Blues Away” came out in March of 1927 as an orchestral recording with vocal and ukulele accompaniment. Here's lyrics sample. “I don't worry when the blues come stealing I know how to cure them right away. Anytime I get that lonesome feeling, I call up my sweetie and say: Red lips kiss my blues away.” You can learn the song on Youtube if you want to sing it to your sweetie. Have a look and find a gift for your sweetie. Also available as a fine art print on Artspan, peterjketchum.com.

DUMB PHONE is a new design available on a variety of products. Buy something for anyone addicted to their smartphone. Smartphones have turned us into compulsive communicators. Smartphones are Intruders, Destroyers, Spies, Control Freaks. Our phones are smarter than we are. We are a stupid species with smart phones, says the neuroscientist Abhijit Naskar. But I rant. And it would be dumb to give up my smartphone. I loved my old heavy black, dumb phone. You could slam the receiver down. Can’t slam a smartphone down. It is too fragile. A fragile, electronic nerd. Honor dumb phones. Buy a tee. Or mug. Thanks.

A great motivational gift for you or your favorite gym rat. Gymnastics or any exercise is fantastic for your health and wellbeing. Move, grove, improve. Hustle for the muscle. Exercise or exorcise? You decide. Buy a mug or pillow as a reward for all your hard work. Get the tapestry and hang it where you exercise to remind you why you are doing what you are doing. After you buy stuff on Teepublic, see my fine art print on Artspan, www.peterjketchum.com. Thanks!

MARTIAN WARNING is a design on shirts, phone cases (call home) and stuff. Can you blame the Martians for not wanting us. Look at what we've done to our own planet. And all our wars. Who needs it. Certainly not the Martians. Or so I was told in a recent visit. (BTW They ARE green.) Sure, at the moment travel to Mars is a red hot dream. But wake up. I repeat. They don't want us. What about Planet Hollywood. It would seem a better choice in this day and age. Or the Pengheng Space Capsules Hotel in China. But then they probably don’t want you either. Yeesh. After you buy gifts in my Ketchum Art store, check out my art prints on Artspan, www.peterjketchum.com. Thanks. Earthling!

SCAREDY- CATS is a design on shirts, pillows and stuff. And aren't we all Scaredy-Cats. What with the Earth having used up at least six and a half of its nine lives and everyone but Rhode Island having nuclear missiles. Yikes. Get a tee shirt or something in my store even if you aren’t scared. (But, you should be. Very very scared.) Then go see my fine art on Artspan (www.peterjketchum.com) to get a signed print of the scaredy-cats. Thanks.

WISE UP EARTHLINGS is a plea to everyone from this fierce owl. Wise up. Yes, you. And you and you. Be EcoWise. Green wise. Save water wise. Zero waste wise. All of that and then some. Available on tee shirts, magnets, stickers, pillows and stuff to wear or give as gifts for like-minded friends of the Earth. Spread the word! Thanks.

Gifts for people annoyed with rigid standards of beauty. Sometimes to be proper and beautiful by public opinion, you shave the legs, the pits. The mustache. But for what? THIS?!? What a waste of time. You could’ve been sitting home with the cats and bingeing on Häagen-Dazs with Piper Chapman or Rick and Morty. You could’ve finally finished the scrapbook, or tuned up your Harley Softail.But no. You cleaned yourself up and went out. For what? This! Yikes! Find the bold design on mugs, magnets, wall hangings,etc. Get gists here for you and your friends. Then go see my Fine Art here www.peterjketchum.com. Thanks!

“Be an apple! Be an apple!” Paul Cézanne the painter yelled at his models. He wanted them to be very still. Something we today rarely are. So what do you do? Be an apple! Increase your mindfulness. Take in and relish sensations. Ringo Starr sang, “Stop and take the time to smell the roses/Stop and take the time to fill your noses/ Stop, there's no train to catch, no there isn't, /No, no, no/ Come on, everybody/Stop when you're in a car/Roll down your window and say/Brother, let's get out and walk, let's go! Can you hear me?/Stop in the name of the law!” Take the advice of Ringo. Stop. Be as still as an apple! At least slow down. And while sitting quietly, order some gifts for your friend who also needs to slow down and be an apple.

So what if your cyber friend exists only in the ether of your imagination. A Meta Friend is better than no friend. A Meta Friend is platonic relationship but evolve from a Meta Friendship into a Meta Love. Meta Love can lead to Meta Inducement which is, like, a superpower. Mistress Love in Marvel Comics has Meta Love Inducement. So does Aphrodite in the Valkyrie Crusades. Meta Love Inducement lets you manipulate all aspects of love. Be careful. It can easily lead to Meta Lust Inducement, a nasty power. For now, be content with your Meta Friend or it gets terribly complicated. Your Meta Friendship is celebrated here with tee shirts, pillows, mugs, etc. Buy gifts and stuff for your REAL friends. Who knows what it will lead to.

EEEEEEEEEKKKK! A gray hair. One gray hair. A sign you’re old. Near death old. Washed up. Over the hill. Undesirable. What a crock! The first gray hairs are a rite of passage. Woman or man, it says you’re older, yes. But it also says you are wiser. And, most importantly, human. Hair color is a shallow, utterly useless and ridiculous measure of self-worth. Hair color doesn’t mean anything at all, unless you decide it does, maybe by coloring it pink or purple or some other color beyond the norm. The design is available on tees, pillows, magnets, notebooks and a bunch of other stuff. Buy a tee or hoodie and wear it ironically because you are in on the joke. Buy stuff here then see my oh so Fine Art on Artspan www.peterjketchum.com

Biden in a debate with Thump said to the Orange-Skinned Man, “Will you shut up man.” Like 62% of Americans in a poll, you might feel that way too, particularly about people in guvment. Imagine if you were the powerful woman pictured and got to shut up McCarthy, Manchin, Greene, Cruz, Sinema, and the whole crew at Fox News. Tell them to shut the, you know, up. Not another word. Not one! The words can also be used needed on people who bug you. For example, if a woman wanted to say it to a guy, she could just wear the tee. It's the easy way out. Buy a tee and let it do the talking! The design is on magnets, stickers and a bunch of gift-able items. Go pick something out. Thanks.

Before Thump, Covid, inflation, social media addiction, endless threats of war, the late Lexi Featherstone exclaimed about fun in the city, “It’s O-V-E-R. Whatever happened to fun. No one's fun anymore. I’m so bored I could die.” Which she did, accidentally falling head first out of a window. SPALT (as the Sex and the City called the episode.) RIP role model Lexi. Buy RIP FUN on stuff here: mugs, pillows, tees, hoodies. Give as a gift to your next party hostess. After you buy stuff here check out my Fine Art on Artspan, www.peterjketchum.com. But shop here first. Thanks.

COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES is a bold design on shirts, stickers, totes, etc. It’s about not sticking to the rules. Wear the tee and declare your independence. Give Color Outside the Lines as a gift on mugs or pillows to your friends who also break the rules. Or who don’t, and should. “You have to color outside the lines once in a while if you want to make your life a masterpiece.” That’s what the scientist Albert Einstein said. And he was a pretty smart dude. Order now. It’s the smart thing to do.

My JOY RIDE design is all about the idea of total abandonment. It says make life a JOY ride. And you don’t have to be naked on a horse with the wind in your hair to feel joyful. Be free! Let loose. Make life a JOY ride. No rules. No reins. No fences. Do stuff for the pure joy of it. Play, work, and live to the hilt. Find joy in what you do. So, ride a horse naked if you want. What the hell! Life is short. Do it for the feel of the wind in your hair even if you’re completely bald. Make the most of this one life you have. Live it joyfully. Speaking of joy, the design is on tees, pillows, etc. suitable as gifts for any reason, or no reason at all. Spread the joy!

Hey, heads up. Here are some perfect gifts for Bald Guys. Buy a gift and pass this spurious info on to them. Quacks think balding can be slowed down with tonics, laser caps, and homemade remedies. Egyptians rubbed into their scalps a goopy mix of opium, horseradish, pigeon droppings, and hippopotamus fat. Julius Caesar covered his baldness with a laurel wreath. King Louis wore very tall scented wigs. The Greeks thought castration helped cure it. Yikes! Don’t try. Maybe use the royal executioner of France's method. He ended Marie Antoinette’s hair troubles forever with Dr. Joseph-Ignace Guillotin’s nifty invention. Chop. Thud. Find the amusing design on a variety of stuff here in my KetchumArt Store. Thanks.

President Woodrow Wilson kept a flock of 48 sheep on the White House Lawn. Their manure was used as a fertilizer. Manure. Washington. These two words go together and inspired my SHEEP: CHEAP SHIT design adapted from an old newspaper ad for my satirical art on hoodies, stickers, and stuff. Express your displeasure with the bullshit in Washington. Bah! Talk is cheap. Let’s see some action! Buy a tee shirt or a mug and spread the word. Thanks. Oh, and if you visit the Capitol watch where you step.

I’ve been on horses, real and electronic. I’ve been kicked by a horse. I know horse people. And I know many horse people love their horses and merely tolerate humans. Particularly human males. Sharon Ralls Lemon, author of The Ultimate Horse Book wrote, “The essential joy of being with horses is that it brings us in contact with the rare elements of grace, beauty, spirit and freedom.” This bold graphic design is available on a wide variety of stuff here in my KetchumArt Store. You can also get it in an affordable limited edition signed print on my Artspan page, www.peterjketchum.com. But shop here first. Maybe for valentine gifts for the horse lover— OR LOVER— in your life? Thanks for your interest, and may the horse be with you!

This tongue in cheek graphic on tees, pillows and stuff is a simple motivational beauty guide for your complete metamorphous. Granted it involves an icky larva stage, but then you get to sleep in late and wake up as beautiful as a butterfly. What’s not to like? Beauty’s big in 2022. Ugly is out. Buy gallons of youth serums. Get cheek implants. Puff up those weak lips with silicone. Raise your forehead. Lower your ass. Eat to the point of malnutrition. Dye the gray. Be anchor-lady blonde. Be who you aren’t. Be a caterpillar with the promise of butterfly beauteousness. If you have a friend in need of beauty tips, this design is a perfect gift. you know it’s a joke, right? A tad sci-fi-ish. BTW, this advice is for any gender.

I’m here with Free Advice to help in these trying times when you might be distracted and a bit careless. DIVE CAREFULLY is the Free Advice. It’s on all manner of products including tees, hoodies, pillows, and magnets. The idea is from an early 20th Century cigarette trade card which were like today’s bubblegum or Super Hero trading cards. What does the advice mean? It means look before you leap. Know if you’re getting in over your head. Are there sharks close by. Or alligators? Know before you dive! The design is also available as an 8x6 print in a signed edition of ten. Find it in my fine art gallery on Artspan: www.peterjketchum.com. But buy gifts or self-rewards first here in my store. Thanks. And dive carefully.

Perfect for artists, this design's adapted from physiognomy, or face reading. The image is on tees, pillows and a bunch of stuff in my store. Physiognomy is the belief that a face reveals the personality behind it. The idea goes back 500 years to Pythagoras who picked his math students by what he saw in their faces. Physiognomy is palm reading but with faces. And every bit as scientific. So, if your forehead is high and broad like this one, you have an artistic personality. It shows intelligence and an affinity for the arts. You’re a high brow. I, BTW, have a high forehead. Buy gifts or self-rewards here in my shop. Then see my fine art on Artspan, www.peterjketchum.com. Thanks.

Albert Schweitzer said it first. “There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.” So I put it on merchandise with Trillium, a most darling cat. These are miserable times. Pandemics. Inflation. Fat cat billionaires taking all the stuff and flying to the moon. Tucker Snarlson. Inane politicians. It isn’t meat meat. Climate stuff. I say snuggle up on the couch with your pet, human or four-legged. Light up a fire and good cigar. Pour a superb wine, maybe the 2017 Petrus Bordeaux Blend. Turn on Mozart or Motown. And relax. Trouble will quietly disappear like a well-fed cat. Before you get too settled tho, go on line and order this design on a tee, magnet, pillow or other gift-able item here in my store. Thanks.

Enough already! Covoid! Climate change! Inflation! Time for a little joy. Or big JOY as shown in my pop art Beethoven. I stole the main image from Joseph Karl Stieler’s famous portrait of Beethoven. In Steiler’s work LVB looks grumpy as hell. So I gave him a smile. It’s more in keeping with the Joy I was after The kind sung about in Ode to Joy from Beethoven’s famous symphony. Joyful joyful it says. Listen and be joyful. I’m not the only one btw to highjack Stieler’s work. Andy Warhol did too. But his Beethoven portrait sold for $370,964,000. And mine? Yours for obscenely low prices on tees, magnets, mugs and stuff in my shop. Buy some. I will be joyfully thankful. (FYI, my fine art can be seen on artspan www.peterjketchum.com)

This design on tees, magnets and stuff is adapted from the title and cover of 1935 sheet music by Victor Herbert. The warning is updated for those contemplating the inhalation of love. The lyrics say things like, “hearts aglow” and “the thrill touched my lips.” But they also say love “fades away with the flick of your fingertips.“ Oh, and “leaves ashes of regret.” Yikes. Anyway, go ahead kids. Try it with the full knowledge that love's highly addictive. And hazardous to your health. (Broken heart, heavy breathing, etc.) See gift ideas and everything with the design here: www.teepublic.com/ketchumart. And see my fine art on Artspan, www/peterjketchum.com. First buy your tees and pillows on teepublic.

With a net worth of hundreds of billions of dollars, Jeff Bezos is the second richest man in the world. And you are, like, what? Maybe 7,915,578,136 billionth richest person. If Bezos money was converted to dimes and stacked up in a pile, it’d reach the moon. Probably. Bezos’s Latin motto is Gradatim Ferociter. It means go step by step, but step ferociously. Don’t pussyfoot. Be fierce! Make JB’s motto yours, and maybe someday in a hundred years or so you can boast, MINE ALL MINE! Wear this tee shirt EVERY DAY and it will happen. Buy it here: www.teepublic.com/ketchumart. And see my finer art on here www.peterjketchum.com.

So you want to be a Bezosnaut and go to space with Jeff Bezos. A Dutch teenager did it and paid $28 million for the flight. Sadly, you’re a couple of million dollars short, right? Solution: Wear this tee. Walk around with an empty mug with the same plea for money. Be sure to rattle the cup. It’ll help attract attention. Folks will rush to fill it with bills. If all else fails, buy a Virgin Galactic ticket for a mere $250,000. That includes a spacesuit! Gift a friend this inspirational design on a mug or magnet, tee or hoodie so you have someone to go with on the flight. See my web page for more of my art: www.peterjketchum.com. But buy stuff here first. Please. I too need money to become a Bezosnaut.

Here's bloody good Free Advice for people intent on living mindfully and well. Or just plain living. Give 100% in everything you do, but not always. This motivational, life-saving design is on mugs, tees, hoodies, pillows, magnets and a whole bunch of stuff. Inexpensive gifts with a message everyone should follow. Wear it when you give blood, or give an appreciative mug to a person working in a blood donation center. Or just give it to a an overachieving friend. And do give blood. But sensibly.