Malarkey

Description: I was really jonesin' for some ice cream while I was making this.

Description: You know Steve is a "gotta have it" kind of guy.

Description: Go ahead, poke the Pillsbury Doughboy... if you dare.

Description: If you're my age or older, you probably remember these commercials, and even wondered why so many housewives have a toilet paper-squeezing fetish. Thought it would look fun in a retro horror font.

Description: If you are an equal lover of Pee wee Herman and zen living, then this design may interest you.

Description: Here's something for the guy who actually likes the smell of axel grease and ethanol-free gasoline. The guy who will blister his face in the afternoon sun to watch a slew of rusty rods and muscle cars drive a 1/4 mile with their foot to the floor. You know the type. Buy him a t-shirt.

Description: Not my opinion, personally. I have a friend who always manages to slip this line into conversation when we're sitting around a campfire. Certainly there are some other 50-year-olds that agree with this?

Description: The Dukes of Hazzard creative team must have had fun creating character names that would pass on network televison in the 70s and 80s: Enos, Cleetis, and most of all: Cooter.

Description: One of my favorite moments from Licensed to Ill.

Description: A fun blend of classic rock lyrics with Gingy the Muffin Man.

Description: Of all the disco from the 70s, it seems the Village People have managed to have more popularity resurgences than any other group or artist.

Description: A fun cool design for any fan of 60s surf guitar, or just the whole surfing aesthetic.

Description: While it may be easy to dismiss surf guitar as Southern California bubblegum from the 60s, closer observation reveals hints of arabic, eastern mediterranean, and middle eastern sounds within the staccato riffs and splashes of reverb.

Description: Are you looking for that perfect tee to wear to a totally awesome 80s party? You know, the kind of shirt that will earn you a sarcastic high five from a rad gen x-er. If so, look no further. I really do love Wang Chung btw. One of my 80s faves.

Description: Perhaps the greatest name-check ever inserted into a pop song. What does Wang Chung mean? Nothing!

Description: Back in the 80s, it was cool to name-check your band into the lyrics of your biggest hit song. It is especially awesome when that band name has no intended meaning. This is still one of my favorites.

Description: A fun gift idea for someone who has a newfound obsession with chicken farming and homesteading. It also helps if they are a TS fan.

Description: An Elderly Flatulator is the highest species of old fart on a tier that includes middle-aged fluffs, and young toots.

Description: The legendary Ernest in a quasi-hip hop fashion design.

Description: It turns out that it's not offensive to say the word honky. In fact, you'll find that most "honkies" absolutely love the word and can't get enough of it. So go nuts, because after all, honky sounds hilarious.

Description: If you've ever thought that part at the end of "Living in the USA" was a regretful spontaneous decision, here's your chance to make fun of it.

Description: My momma told me not to get a Roy Orbison tattoo on my keister. What momma doesn't know won't hurt her.

Description: Almost anyone who is 45 years old or more knows exactly what this picture sounds like.

Description: I think this design speaks for itself.

Description: This design is meant for family reunions and get-togethers, where everyone can be some form of "old fart." Please look for my accompanying designs: Young Toot, and Elderly Flatulator.

Description: I once met a guy that had a tattoo that looked something like this. He said he lost a bet and had to get this design put on his arm. I laughed so much, and I immediately wanted a t-shirt of it.

Description: Howdy Doody/ Big Lebowski mashup. As far as I know, it's the only one that exists.

Description: For the chicken enthusiast who prefers their eggs pre-dyed and enjoy the rugged lumberjack look of this particular breed.

Description: When you like your chickens the same way you like your toy dogs, that makes you a Serama Mama.

Description: As chickens have grown more popular than ever, there's a certain group that have a fondness for the odd and unusual breeds, like this silki with the Motley Croo hairstyle.

Description: I don't have to explain this. It's just dumb humor. Conway was a great country music icon.

Description: I think most aging men should aspire to be as craggy and funny as Burgess Meredith was in the Grumpy Old Men movies.

Description: Burgess Merideth was the best actor when it came to delivering a crude metaphor. Also worthy of note is a hilarious skit from the sketch comedy show, In Living Color, in which Jim Carrey portrays Mickey, and builds on this phrase with many other eat/crap scenarios, the best resulting in, you're gonna eat Regis Philbin, and crap Kathy Lee Gifford!

Description: For those who are NOT compelled to "yah mo burn this place to the ground" after hearing the song numerous times.

Description: If you were a child who watched Family Affair and had a Mrs. Beasley doll, chances are that you wore her glasses and never wondered whether or not there was a Mr. Beasley.

Description: We're not here for a long time. We're here for a good time.