PlanetSnark

Description: World famous chicken tensors from Jones Foods. As any fool knows. Also available in white.

Description: World famous chicken tensors from Jones Foods. As any fool knows. Also available in black.

Description: MYCOLOGIST: That means I'm a fun guy. Fungi. Geddit? Well, someone will - maybe a scientist, biologist, mushroom or toadstool collector, or just a fan of bad wordplay and dad jokes. Also available in black.

Description: Sarcastic (but jaunty!) skeleton + slogan: "But did you die?" in light blackletter (gothic) text. Maybe you're adventurous or maybe just anxious; just as long as you don't die. Other designs with the sardonic skeleton available.

Description: Go all the way through the holiday season, from Halloween to Christmas, with this tongue in cheek sarcastic design. A festive skeleton with Santa hat and Xmas bauble plus caption "dead merry". Available in other colors.

Description: White and red letters on black: "Only here for the indictments". Aww yeah. Jack Smith you say? Bring traitors to justice and stand up for democracy. Get out that bubbly that's been chilling since 2016.

Description: MYCOLOGIST: That means I'm a fun guy. Fungi. Geddit? Well, someone will - maybe a scientist, biologist, mushroom or toadstool collector, or just a fan of bad wordplay and dad jokes. Also available in white.

Description: WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT in military alphabet, red stencil letters. When you want to exclaim WTF?! but you're keeping things clean. Maybe things are FUBAR; maybe you're just done. Available in other colors.

Description: WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT in military alphabet, black stencil letters. When you want to exclaim WTF?! but you're keeping things clean. Maybe things are FUBAR; maybe you're just done. Available in other colors.

Description: WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT in military alphabet, white stencil letters. When you want to exclaim WTF?! but you're keeping things clean. Maybe things are FUBAR; maybe you're just done. Available in other colors.

Description: "I lost half a day of skiing" in elegant white serif font. For those ski slope accidents followed by lawsuits when there really just isn't anything more to say.

Description: "I lost half a day of skiing" in cool winter blue - elegant serif font with snowflakes. For those ski slope accidents followed by lawsuits when there really just isn't anything more to say.

Description: "I wish you well," she's said to have whispered after the court case decided in her favor. What better way to rise above than with this serene saying in white letters? We have a new "Bless your heart" for the skiing set.

Description: "I wish you well," she's said to have whispered after the court case decided in her favor. What better way to rise above than with this serene saying in soft gelato colors? We have a new "Bless your heart" for the skiing set.

Description: For all the good-hearted boomers out there - "woke boomer". Cos you're not getting more conservative as you get older - you're getting more compassionate. For those who remember flower power, peace signs, and the summer of love.

Description: For all the good-hearted boomers out there - "aging hippie". Cos you might remember the 60s and the 70s but you're young at heart. For those who remember flower power, peace signs, and the summer of love.

Description: "GROOVY" in a classic hippie 1960s/1970s font, surrounded by bleached-bright flowers like grandma's wallpaper. Whether you have a retro aesthetic or just like vintage, try this cheerful funky design. Flower power, man. Groovy.

Description: It doesn't matter what time of day it is, you can have tea any time. I'll make some tea then, shall I? Yes, put the kettle on, love, and I'll get out the biscuit tin. Simple white handwritten letters and a quaint old saying.

Description: "Thou shalt not judge, for verily, thou also hast fucked shit up" in blackletter gothic, white version. Basically don't be judgy, B, because you ain't so perfect. Just the old timey Elizabethan tongue in cheek version. Variations available.

Description: "Thou shalt not judge, for verily, thou also hast fucked shit up" in blackletter gothic, black version. Basically don't be judgy, B, because you ain't so perfect. Just the old timey Elizabethan tongue in cheek version. Variations available.

Description: Bright neon dogtag font with cut-out letters: "FIGJAM". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Description: White dogtag font with cut-out letters: "FIGJAM". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Description: Black dogtag font with cut-out letters: "FIGJAM". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Description: White college sport jersey lettering with black outline: "FIGJAM". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Description: White college sport jersey lettering: "FIGJAM". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Description: Black college sport jersey lettering: "FIGJAM". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Description: When you're a little sassy and a little fancy, and maybe you're rich or maybe you just want people to think you are... you're bougie or your boujee but either way you're just the coolest. Available in other colors.

Description: Black handwriting on white and lime green background: "figjam". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Description: Black handwriting on white and orange background: "figjam". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Description: "SURVIVING OUT OF SPITE" in white letters on blue, yellow, and orange. For when you're just barely hanging on in this, the absolute stupidest timeline with anti-science and anti-democracy idiots everywhere. Keep going. Even if it's just to make them mad.

Description: Blackletter gothic letters: "curmudgeon". Get off my lawn, you kids! For the cantankerous, the grumpy, the grouchy, and the absurd. Available in other colors.

Description: Blackletter gothic letters: "curmudgeon". Get off my lawn, you kids! For the cantankerous, the grumpy, the grouchy, and the absurd. Available in other colors.

Description: "Make it make sense" in ultra bright neon colors and slab letters. For the bewildered and overwhelmed - because these days there are too many things that are just batsh*t insane. Available in other colors.

Description: "Make it make sense" in bold white slab lettering. For the bewildered and overwhelmed - because these days there are too many things that are just batsh*t insane. Available in other colors.

Description: "Make it make sense" in bright retro colors (teal, turquoise, golden yellow, and red-orange) and bold lettering. For the bewildered and overwhelmed - because these days there are too many things that are just batsh*t insane. Available in other colors.

Description: SO READY FOR THE AIRING OF GRIEVANCES + Festivus pole. We need little anti-advent calendars to help us count down to Festivus. Maybe with a tiny liquor bottle behind each door. And then feats of strength. Also available in white.