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If you’re snarky and you know it, clap your hands. Sardonic, deadpan, tongue in cheek - my snark comes in all flavors.
silently judging

Shorts

Chicken Tensors - Jones Foods (black) Shorts
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Description: World famous chicken tensors from Jones Foods. As any fool knows. Also available in white.

Tags: chicken, foods, jones, mathematics, maths
Chicken Tensors - Jones Foods (white) Shorts
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Description: World famous chicken tensors from Jones Foods. As any fool knows. Also available in black.

Tags: chicken, foods, jones, mathematics, maths
MYCOLOGIST: That means I'm a fun guy (white) Shorts
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Description: MYCOLOGIST: That means I'm a fun guy. Fungi. Geddit? Well, someone will - maybe a scientist, biologist, mushroom or toadstool collector, or just a fan of bad wordplay and dad jokes. Also available in black.

Tags: biologist, biology, fun guy, fungi, fungus
"But did you die?" - sardonic skeleton in light text Shorts
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Description: Sarcastic (but jaunty!) skeleton + slogan: "But did you die?" in light blackletter (gothic) text. Maybe you're adventurous or maybe just anxious; just as long as you don't die. Other designs with the sardonic skeleton available.

Tags: black, dark, did you die, funny, halloween
"Dead Merry" - sardonic holiday skeleton with festive Santa hat and bauble (light text) Shorts

Description: Go all the way through the holiday season, from Halloween to Christmas, with this tongue in cheek sarcastic design. A festive skeleton with Santa hat and Xmas bauble plus caption "dead merry". Available in other colors.

Tags: black humor, black humour, dead merry, deadpan, funny
"only here for the indictments" in plain white letters - treason is the reason for the season Shorts
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Description: White and red letters on black: "Only here for the indictments". Aww yeah. Jack Smith you say? Bring traitors to justice and stand up for democracy. Get out that bubbly that's been chilling since 2016.

Tags: but her emails, democracy, department of justice, doj, espionage
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT (red stencil) - WTF in military speak Shorts
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Description: WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT in military alphabet, red stencil letters. When you want to exclaim WTF?! but you're keeping things clean. Maybe things are FUBAR; maybe you're just done. Available in other colors.

Tags: air force, alphabet, army, foxtrot, marines
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT (white stencil) - WTF in military speak Shorts
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Description: WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT in military alphabet, white stencil letters. When you want to exclaim WTF?! but you're keeping things clean. Maybe things are FUBAR; maybe you're just done. Available in other colors.

Tags: air force, alphabet, army, foxtrot, marines
"I lost half a day of skiing" in elegant white font - for when people ski into you and sue you Shorts
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Description: "I lost half a day of skiing" in elegant white serif font. For those ski slope accidents followed by lawsuits when there really just isn't anything more to say.

Tags: bless your heart, gwyneth, half a day, i lost half a day of skiing, i wish you well
"I lost half a day of skiing" in cool winter colors and elegant font - for when people ski into you and sue you Shorts
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Description: "I lost half a day of skiing" in cool winter blue - elegant serif font with snowflakes. For those ski slope accidents followed by lawsuits when there really just isn't anything more to say.

Tags: bless your heart, gwyneth, half a day, i lost half a day of skiing, i wish you well
"I wish you well" in elegant white font - for those unavoidable skiing accidents Shorts
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Description: "I wish you well," she's said to have whispered after the court case decided in her favor. What better way to rise above than with this serene saying in white letters? We have a new "Bless your heart" for the skiing set.

Tags: bless your heart, gwyneth, i wish, planet snark, saying
"I wish you well" in gelato colors and elegant font - for those unavoidable skiing accidents Shorts
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Description: "I wish you well," she's said to have whispered after the court case decided in her favor. What better way to rise above than with this serene saying in soft gelato colors? We have a new "Bless your heart" for the skiing set.

Tags: bless your heart, gwyneth, i wish, planet snark, saying
"Woke Boomer" in 70s font with flower power and peace signs - groovy! Shorts
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Description: For all the good-hearted boomers out there - "woke boomer". Cos you're not getting more conservative as you get older - you're getting more compassionate. For those who remember flower power, peace signs, and the summer of love.

Tags: summer of love, flower power, groovy, peace, progressive
"Aging Hippie" in 70s font with flower power and peace signs - groovy! Shorts
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Description: For all the good-hearted boomers out there - "aging hippie". Cos you might remember the 60s and the 70s but you're young at heart. For those who remember flower power, peace signs, and the summer of love.

Tags: daisies, vintage, aging, boho, psychedelic
"Groovy" in retro letters on vintage flower background Shorts
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Description: "GROOVY" in a classic hippie 1960s/1970s font, surrounded by bleached-bright flowers like grandma's wallpaper. Whether you have a retro aesthetic or just like vintage, try this cheerful funky design. Flower power, man. Groovy.

Tags: retro, sixties, 1970s, planet snark, psychedelic
I'll make some tea then shall I? - in white handwriting + kettle Shorts
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Description: It doesn't matter what time of day it is, you can have tea any time. I'll make some tea then, shall I? Yes, put the kettle on, love, and I'll get out the biscuit tin. Simple white handwritten letters and a quaint old saying.

Tags: afternoon, tongue in cheek, teacup, nostalgia, ill make some tea
"Thou shalt not judge" - updated Book of Hours with snarky tongue-in-cheek phrase Shorts
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Description: At first glance it's a classic Book of Hours, with decorated initial and beautiful calligraphy - but second glance tells a different tale. "Thou shalt not judge... thou hast also fucked shit up." Variations available (including less wordy version).

Tags: tongue in cheek, humor, planet snark, illuminated, thou shalt
"Thou shalt not judge..." in white - tongue-in-cheek blackletter gothic saying with a punch Shorts
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Description: "Thou shalt not judge, for verily, thou also hast fucked shit up" in blackletter gothic, white version. Basically don't be judgy, B, because you ain't so perfect. Just the old timey Elizabethan tongue in cheek version. Variations available.

Tags: be judgey, shakespeare, gothic, thou shalt not, judge
"Thou shalt not judge..." in black - tongue-in-cheek blackletter gothic saying with a punch Shorts
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Description: "Thou shalt not judge, for verily, thou also hast fucked shit up" in blackletter gothic, black version. Basically don't be judgy, B, because you ain't so perfect. Just the old timey Elizabethan tongue in cheek version. Variations available.

Tags: deadpan, tongue in cheek, gothic, blackletter, elizabethan
"FIGJAM" in bright neon - Aussie slang FTW (dogtag style cut-out letters) Shorts
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Description: Bright neon dogtag font with cut-out letters: "FIGJAM". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Tags: tongue in cheek, humor, jam, just ask me, sarcasm
"FIGJAM" in white - Aussie slang FTW (dogtag style cut-out letters) Shorts
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Description: White dogtag font with cut-out letters: "FIGJAM". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Tags: tongue in cheek, joke, australian, just ask me, humour
"FIGJAM" in white college sports jersey font with black outline - Aussie slang FTW Shorts
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Description: White college sport jersey lettering with black outline: "FIGJAM". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Tags: tongue in cheek, joke, just ask me, slang, deadpan
"FIGJAM" in white college sports jersey font - Aussie slang FTW Shorts
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Description: White college sport jersey lettering: "FIGJAM". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Tags: sarcasm, just ask me, jam, im good, tongue in cheek
"bougie" in cool retro serif font (white letters) Shorts
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Description: When you're a little sassy and a little fancy, and maybe you're rich or maybe you just want people to think you are... you're bougie or your boujee but either way you're just the coolest. Available in other colors.

Tags: chichi, serif, meme, chic, fancy
"FIGJAM" in black cursive on white and lime green - Aussie slang FTW Shorts
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Description: Black handwriting on white and lime green background: "figjam". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Tags: typography, slang, australian, tongue in cheek, just ask me
"FIGJAM" in black cursive on white and orange - Aussie slang FTW Shorts
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Description: Black handwriting on white and orange background: "figjam". Niche Aussie slang - F*ck I'm good, just ask me. Self-deprecating humor is the best humor; ask any Australian. Variations available.

Tags: handwriting, just ask me, australian, sarcasm, absurd
"Surviving out of spite" in white letters on colorful blocks - blue, yellow, and orange Shorts
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Description: "SURVIVING OUT OF SPITE" in white letters on blue, yellow, and orange. For when you're just barely hanging on in this, the absolute stupidest timeline with anti-science and anti-democracy idiots everywhere. Keep going. Even if it's just to make them mad.

Tags: doing my best, quote, out of spite, saying, hanging on
curmudgeon - blackletter font in white Shorts
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Description: Blackletter gothic letters: "curmudgeon". Get off my lawn, you kids! For the cantankerous, the grumpy, the grouchy, and the absurd. Available in other colors.

Tags: gothic, tongue in cheek, salty, sarcastic, geezer
"Make it make sense" in ultra bright neon colors - for the overwhelmed and annoyed everywhere Shorts
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Description: "Make it make sense" in ultra bright neon colors and slab letters. For the bewildered and overwhelmed - because these days there are too many things that are just batsh*t insane. Available in other colors.

Tags: planet snark, anxiety, make it make sense, cynical, too much
"Make it make sense" in white - for the overwhelmed and annoyed everywhere Shorts
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Description: "Make it make sense" in bold white slab lettering. For the bewildered and overwhelmed - because these days there are too many things that are just batsh*t insane. Available in other colors.

Tags: whats going on, leave me alone, anxiety, dont make no sense, planet snark
"Make it make sense" in bold retro colors (teal, turquoise, yellow, and red) - for the overwhelmed and annoyed everywhere Shorts
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Description: "Make it make sense" in bright retro colors (teal, turquoise, golden yellow, and red-orange) and bold lettering. For the bewildered and overwhelmed - because these days there are too many things that are just batsh*t insane. Available in other colors.

Tags: dont make no sense, confused, make it make sense, exhausted, cynical
Boots n cats: Say it quickly and voila! you're a beatboxer (orange, red, and blue letters) Shorts
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Description: Boots n cats n boots n cats: A quick and easy phrase for beatbox beginners. Say it fast and you'll be beatboxing in no time. A tongue in cheek design for music lovers and others who like wordplay. Available in other colors.

Tags: boots, cats, word play, deadpan, music
Boots n cats: Say it quickly and voila! you're a beatboxer (orange, brown, and yellow letters) Shorts
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Description: Boots n cats n boots n cats: A quick and easy phrase for beatbox beginners. Say it fast and you'll be beatboxing in no time. A tongue in cheek design for music lovers and others who like wordplay. Available in other colors.

Tags: planet snark, boots n cats, hip hop, cats, beat
Boots n cats: Say it quickly and voila! you're a beatboxer (pink and letters) Shorts
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Description: Boots n cats n boots n cats: A quick and easy phrase for beatbox beginners. Say it fast and you'll be beatboxing in no time. A tongue in cheek design for music lovers and others who like wordplay. Available in other colors.

Tags: planet snark, tongue in cheek, boots n cats, deadpan, box
Boots n cats: Say it quickly and voila! you're a beatboxer (white letters with cut outs) Shorts
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Description: Boots n cats n boots n cats: A quick and easy phrase for beatbox beginners. Say it fast and you'll be beatboxing in no time. A tongue in cheek design for music lovers and others who like wordplay. Available in other colors.

Tags: boots n cats, planet snark, box, boots, beat
"This is fine" in white with flames in red, orange, and yellow Shorts
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Description: Flames and fire and the words "this is fine" are perfect for these strange apocalypse days - for a coffee cup in your burning kitchen, or something else. Variations on this design available, also in black.

Tags: snarky, burning, planet snark, funny, sarcasm

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