Professor Smidge

Description: Hello fellow humans. It is I, a fellow human. Since we are both humans, let us go and do normal human things. Do not question. You are perfectly safe.

Description: I'm handsomer now than I was but not as handsome as I'm going to be.

Description: I don't know a lot about Karl Marx but I assume he was familiar with the concept of irony.

Description: Oh, you wouldn't want my shirt. It's all sweaty and smelly and I am pretty sure it's never been washed, ever.

Description: Why are we talking about the economy and wars and all that nonsense, when we could be holding a puppy?

Description: Better to buy this shirt badly than to not buy it at all.

Description: "For the Lord of the Galadrim is accounted the wisest of the Elves of Middle-earth, and a giver of gifts beyond the power of kings. He has dwelt in the West since the days of dawn, and I have dwelt with him years uncounted; for ere the fall of Nargothrond or Gondolin I passed over the mountains, and together through ages of the world we have fought the long defeat." "Actually, I am a Christian, and indeed a Roman Catholic, so that I do not expect 'history' to be anything but a 'long defeat' - though it contains (and in a legend may contain more clearly and movingly) some samples or glimpses of final victory."

Description: Are you my professor or my dad?