redhornet

Description: KEEP CALM AND ASK A LIBRARIAN.

Description: FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.

Description: IDK IDC IDGAF.

Description: I LISTEN TO METAL BECAUSE FUCK YOU.

Description: I WORK HARD BECAUSE MILLIONS ON WELFARE DEPEND ON ME.

Description: DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'

Description: TATTOOED AND EMPLOYED.

Description: Wife. Mom. Boss.

Description: I SURVIVED COLLEGE WITHOUT BECOMING A LIBERAL.

Description: I'M NOT GAY BUT $20 IS $20.

Description: NO KANGAROOS IN AUSTRIA.

Description: I PEE IN POOLS.

Description: MEAN PEOPLE SUCK NICE PEOPLE SWALLOW.

Description: FEED ME TO THE LESBIANS.

Description: NO MATTER HOW GOOD SHE LOOKS SOMEONE SOMEWHERE IS TIRED OF HER SHIT

Description: I'M GOING TO HELL IN EVERY RELIGION.

Description: STRAIGHT OUTTA MY TWENTIES.

Description: YOU MAKE ME WISH I HAD MORE MIDDLE FINGERS.

Description: I NEVER DREAMED I'D GROW UP TO BE AN ASSHOLE BUT HERE I AM KILLIN' IT.

Description: THIS VODKA TASTES LIKE I'LL BE TEXTING YOU LATER.

Description: I'M NO WEATHERMAN BUT YOU SHOULD EXPECT A FEW INCHES TONIGHT.

Description: You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions.

Description: PROUD FATHER OF A FEW DUMBASS KIDS.

Description: IT'S FUNNY HOW YOU THINK I'M LISTENING.

Description: WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WHADDUP I GOT A OH GOD OH NO WRONG BUILDING I'M SO SORRY CONTINUE WITH YOUR FUNERAL GOD BLESS.

Description: DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE. YOU LITTLE REBEL. I LIKE YOU.

Description: I'M SORRY I HURT YOUR FEELINGS WHEN I CALLED YOU STUPID. I REALLY THOUGHT YOU ALREADY KNEW.

Description: BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER BUT MAPLE SYRUP IS THICKER THAN BLOOD SO TECHNICALLY PANCAKES ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN FAMILY.

Description: DON'T LAUGH IT'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S SHIRT

Description: I have never faked a sarcasm in my life.

Description: I'M PRETTY COOL BUT I CRY A LOT.

Description: I WOULD CUDDLE YOU SO HARD.

Description: JESUS LOVES YOU! THE REST OF US THINK YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!

Description: SEX POLICE K-9 DOGGYSTYLE UNIT.

Description: IT'S NOT A BOLD SPOT IT'S A SOLAR PANEL FOR A SEX MACHINE.

Description: TOO DUMB FOR NEW YORK TOO UGLY FOR L.A.