Sex_is_weird

Your boobs are different sizes and that's cool! A motivational poster I wish I’d had.

Oh hell no!

When I was little I tried to draw my own porn because I was too afraid to look at it on the internet. I drew multiple drafts of Simpsons themed porn (I guess the familiarity was comforting) but couldn’t draw boobs well enough to turn me on so I cried.

It's not bad to pleasure yourself! A motivational poster I wish I’d had

Look, I don’t know who in their right mind would buy this heinous image of King Burrito himself going down on me, but here we are. What is the matter with you? Go to bed.

This is a portrait of me from 2002 during a field trip to the Nashville Zoo. I was horny as hell and ready to party (eat costco shrimp cocktail and watch Deep Blue Sea with my crush).

Oh hell yeah!

My very first porn! Alone in my room, surrounded by my animal friends. A soft, plushy orgy. Oh hell yeah.

This is a 100% anatomically accurate depiction of what I always feared I looked like from behind. Did you know that if you 69 for too long, the dinosaur between your legs will spray hot tar spit on your significant other (Wayne Knight)

Did you know that if you combine all the

Not unlike the evolution of ape to homo sapien, when I discovered my clit I transformed from sweet lil’ gal to turbo-charged horny monster. Everything became butt and boobs. The couch was butt. The fridge was boobs. The dog and cat were a mushy combo of each. A higher state of mind. I was enlightened. This is one panel of the10-panel 2001: A Clit Odyssey. (2001 was the actual year I started masturbating— rejoice!)