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Sorry I have plans with my cat
Tags: cat, cats, pets, plans with my cat
Was taught to think before I act so if i punch you rest assured i've thought about it and am confident in my decision
Tags: funny, think before i act
lettuce romaine calm and carrot on
Tags: funny, lettuce romaine calm, puns
Shit show supervisor
Tags: supervisor, shit show, shitshow
We don't hide the crazy we parade it down the street
Tags: pride, sarcasm, we dont hide the crazy, we parade it, friend
Looks like I may accidentally get drunk on purpose today
Tags: drinking, drunk, party, beer, alcohol
my dog thinks I'm cool
Tags: thinks im cool, love, pets, dog, dogs
Let's glow crazy
Tags: neon, birthday, glow, lets glow, glow crazy
my aunt loves me
Tags: aunt, family, auntie
I'm just here for the half time show
Tags: half time show, half time, football, sports
i'm not procrastinating i'm doing side quests
Tags: funny, not procrastinating, side quests, motivation, joke
In order to insult me I must first value your opinion nice try though
Tags: sarcasm, i must first value your opinion, in order to insult me
if mom says no my aunt will say yes
Tags: auntie, aunt funny, aunt lover, aunt
i'm not clumsy it's just the floor hates me
Tags: funny, humor, just the floor, clumsy, hates me
I'm here because you broke something
Tags: broke something, mechanical, mechanic, here because you broke, mechanics
I put the dirty in 30
Tags: 30 years old, in 30, i put the dirty
I still play with blocks
Tags: mechanical, engine, i still play with blocks, car, funny mechanic
I may look calm but in my head I've pecked you three times
Tags: sarcasm, rooster, i may look calm but in my head ive, humor, i may look calm
if I say something inappropriate I learned it from my aunt
Tags: if i say something, aunt, learned it from my aunt
Admit it life would be boring without me
Tags: admit it, life would be boring without me, without me, boring
Humble
Tags: humble and kind, humbleness, kind
I love my hot girlfriend so please stay away from me
Tags: couple, valentines day, girlfriend, love, romance
I do all my own stunts
Tags: stuntman, i do my own stunts, stunts
A Penny For Your Thoughts Seems A Little Pricey
Tags: sarcasm, penny for your thoughts, pricey
Grease the Poles
Tags: grease, the poles
My drinking team has a tennis problem
Tags: tennis, party, sports, drinking, fun
Life is better on a paddle board
Tags: board, paddling, boarding, life is better, paddle board
I don't need to get a life I'm a gamer I have lots of lives
Tags: gaming, get a life, funny, gamer, i have lots of lives
I'm not just the daughter I'm the daughter in law
Tags: gift, marriage, daughter, daughter in law
I survived a stroke and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
Tags: stroke, stroke survivor, survived a stroke, funny, motivation
Crabbing Crew
Tags: crabbing, crew, crabs
Eat Sleep Swim Bike Run Repeat
Tags: motivation, eat sleep repeat, biking, sports, bicycle
if I collapse can someone pause my strava
Tags: pause my strava, if i collapse, quote, strava, joke
I only drink on days that end in Y
Tags: fun, drinking, party, alcohol
My big brother has paws
Tags: big brother, brother, love, respect, family
My other shirt is also covered in dog hair
Tags: pets, dog, dogs, dog lover, doggy
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