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My drinking team has a tennis problem
tennis, party, sports, drinking, fun
Life is better on a paddle board
board, paddling, boarding, life-is-better, paddle-board
I'm the boss my wife is just the decision maker
decision-maker, meme, gift, joke, quote
I don't need to get a life I'm a gamer I have lots of lives
gaming, get-a-life, funny, gamer, i-have-lots-of-lives
I'm not just the daughter I'm the daughter in law
gift, marriage, daughter, daughter-in-law
I survived a stroke and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
stroke, stroke-survivor, survived-a-stroke, funny, motivation
crabbing, crew, crabs
Eat Sleep Swim Bike Run Repeat
motivation, eat-sleep-repeat, biking, sports, bicycle
if I collapse can someone pause my strava
pause-my-strava, if-i-collapse, quote, strava, joke
I only drink on days that end in Y
fun, drinking, party, alcohol
My big brother has paws
big-brother, brother, love, respect, family
My other shirt is also covered in dog hair
pets, dog, dogs, dog-lover, doggy
The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe it
hipster, true-whether-or-not, good-thing, mathematics, quote
If you don't want a sarcastic answer don't ask a stupid question
meme, funny, quote, dont-ask-stupid-question, sarcastic-answer
I'm not trying to be difficult it just comes naturally
funny, sarcasm, not-difficult, quote, brat
I prefer donkeys over people
pets, over-people, donkey-lover, gift, donkeys
I tried to be normal once worst two minutes of my life
funny, i-tried-to-be-normal-once, worst-two-minutes-of-my-life, be-weird, gift
I'm a butcher ask me about my meat
chef, cooking, meat, food, butcher
If you see me talking to myself I'm having a staff meeting
funny, talking-to-myself, if-you-see-me, stress, sarcasm
Don't mess with my brother that's my job
love, brother, family, dont-mess-with
Full of coffee and sarcasm
sarcastic, sarcasm, coffee, drinking, funny
Here I am what are your other 2 wishes
genie, wishing, here-i-am, make-a-wish, wishes
Don't ask me I'm just the laborer
dont-ask, laborer, im-just-the-laborer, work, dont-ask-me
I just want to drink coffee create stuff and sleep
just-want-to-drink-coffee, nap, artist, sleeping, coffee
All I need in life is cricket cricket cricket
cricket, sports, athlete, gift, cricket-lover
Warning: May start talking about my allotment at any time
allotment, gift, funny, may-start-talking, quote
Oh for fox's sake
fox, puns, foxes, funny, oh-for-fox-sake
There's no need to repeat yourself. I ignored you fine the first time.
no-need-to-repeat, sarcasm, quote, funny, i-ignored-you-fine
Trust me I'm a surfer
ocean, water, surfer, surfing, trust-me
Weekend forecast cricket with a chance of drinking
alcohol, drinking, party, sports, weekend-forecast
My best friend is my greyhound
dogs, best-friend, greyhound, greyhound-lover
Is it too soon to ask for a motorbike?
motorcycle, driving, sports, gift, car
Lovely bit of squirrel
gift, forest, animals, nature, lovely-bit
I don't like cricket I love it
athlete, gift, cricket-lover, sports, cricket
Losers like to win. Winners Hate to Lose
quote, motivation, hate-to-lose, losers-like-to-win, inspiration
If we get in trouble it's my uncle's fault because I listened to him
family, if-we-get-in-trouble, gift, i-listened-to-him, nephew
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