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Sorry I have plans with my cat
Tags: cat, cats, pets, plans with my cat
Was taught to think before I act so if i punch you rest assured i've thought about it and am confident in my decision
Tags: funny, think before i act
lettuce romaine calm and carrot on
Tags: funny, lettuce romaine calm, puns
Shit show supervisor
Tags: shit show, shitshow, supervisor
We don't hide the crazy we parade it down the street
Tags: friend, pride, sarcasm, we dont hide the crazy, we parade it
Looks like I may accidentally get drunk on purpose today
Tags: alcohol, beer, drinking, drunk, party
my dog thinks I'm cool
Tags: dog, dogs, love, pets, thinks im cool
Let's glow crazy
Tags: birthday, glow, glow crazy, lets glow, neon
my aunt loves me
Tags: aunt, auntie, family
I'm just here for the half time show
Tags: football, half time, half time show, sports
i'm not procrastinating i'm doing side quests
Tags: funny, joke, motivation, not procrastinating, side quests
In order to insult me I must first value your opinion nice try though
Tags: i must first value your opinion, in order to insult me, sarcasm
if mom says no my aunt will say yes
Tags: aunt, aunt funny, aunt lover, auntie
i'm not clumsy it's just the floor hates me
Tags: clumsy, funny, hates me, humor, just the floor
I'm here because you broke something
Tags: broke something, here because you broke, mechanic, mechanical, mechanics
I put the dirty in 30
Tags: 30 years old, i put the dirty, in 30
I still play with blocks
Tags: car, engine, funny mechanic, i still play with blocks, mechanical
I may look calm but in my head I've pecked you three times
Tags: chicken, humor, i may look calm, i may look calm but in my head ive, rooster
if I say something inappropriate I learned it from my aunt
Tags: aunt, if i say something, learned it from my aunt
Admit it life would be boring without me
Tags: admit it, boring, life would be boring without me, without me
Humble
Tags: humble and kind, humbleness, kind
I love my hot girlfriend so please stay away from me
Tags: couple, girlfriend, love, romance, valentines day
I do all my own stunts
Tags: i do my own stunts, stuntman, stunts
A Penny For Your Thoughts Seems A Little Pricey
Tags: penny for your thoughts, pricey, sarcasm
Grease the Poles
Tags: grease, the poles
My drinking team has a tennis problem
Tags: alcohol, drinking, fun, party, sports
Life is better on a paddle board
Tags: board, boarding, life is better, paddle board, paddling
I don't need to get a life I'm a gamer I have lots of lives
Tags: funny, gamer, gaming, get a life, i have lots of lives
I'm not just the daughter I'm the daughter in law
Tags: daughter, daughter in law, gift, marriage
I survived a stroke and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
Tags: funny, lousy, motivation, stroke, stroke survivor
Crabbing Crew
Tags: crabbing, crabs, crew
Eat Sleep Swim Bike Run Repeat
Tags: bicycle, biking, eat sleep repeat, motivation, sports
if I collapse can someone pause my strava
Tags: funny, if i collapse, joke, pause my strava, quote
I only drink on days that end in Y
Tags: alcohol, drinking, fun, party
My big brother has paws
Tags: big brother, brother, family, has paws, love
My other shirt is also covered in dog hair
Tags: dog, dog lover, doggy, dogs, pets
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