Tees Me Plz

Description: The good thing about your anus is it's pointing in the opposite direction of your nose. Perhaps that's the inspiration for the wise saying seen here.

Description: I've got a lot on my mind, not on my tongue. I'll speak when there's something to say.

Description: Nothing beats the people in charge telling you the things you want to hear. Disinformation is the best information.

Description: Working ain't so bad when the boss isn't a jerk. My boss knows my needs and hears my grievances like he could read my mind.

Description: They start younger ever year, negotiating, making deals, long before they know what quid pro quo means ... you know -- a favor for a favor, like you scratch my back, etc. Or a tit for tat. Well, that's the opposite, but I had to work it in somehow!

Description: Show your allegiance to the BEST country in the western hemisphere.

Description: Show your love to the BEST country in the western hemisphere.

Description: One doesn't have a mouth, the other has no arms. They don't let that stop them. An old boomer and a . . . who-knows-what, team up for your pixeled cartoon character delight in eleven and counting poses. Collect them all! No assembly required.

Description: For hauling the crap from the big orange cesspool.

Description: Political discourse has risen to a feud-like level. Mutual civility is lost. Now, those on the other side of the aisle are treated like enemies. We must do better.

Description: In order to form a more perfect union, the America people should be an informed electorate ... hmm ... a cognitive citizenry ... er ... an astute constituency ... smart frickin' voters!

Description: Prime sustenance for the student body and pre-eminent frat party potable. See you in Professor Kegger's class!

Description: Prime sustenance for the student body and pre-eminent frat party potable. See you in Professor Kegger's class!

Description: He's known for his most prominent feature, and it's not the long, hard shaft he wields. One wonders why he roamed naked through the ancient forests at the dawn of time. We like to think of the giant as Lord Morningwood.

Description: Whoa, you must've really screwed up this time. A sandwich is not enough -- it's one large shit pizza for you!

Description: Who doesn't like a good dump? A satisfying poop is almost as enjoyable as the hot dogs, nachos, ribs, and fried chicken that produced it. But the dog is king of dumps. Though he may not sit on a throne, he has a servant to clean up afterwards.

Description: A text-based MMORPG. They said GemStone would never last after EverQuest came out, and World of Warcraft, and Guild Wars. Yet it remains. How? It uses the power of words to run the best graphics engine ever created -- your mind.

Description: They say it isn't possible. But I've done it. I've trained my cat to ignore every instruction given to him.

Description: He's there when you walk in -- baggy shorts, socks sagging over white high-top Chucks, T-shirt with the fading logo of his alma mater or some Big 5 school, or PAC 10, or Big East. And he's there when you leave, taking jumpers or waiting for yet another pick-up game.

Description: He's there when you walk in -- baggy shorts, socks sagging over white high-top Chucks, and a T-shirt with the fading logo of his alma mater or some Big 5 school, or PAC 10, or Big East. And he's there when you leave, taking jumpers or waiting for yet another pick-up game.

Description: She's there when you walk in -- baggy shorts, socks sagging over white high-top Chucks, and a T-shirt with the fading logo of her alma mater or some Big 5 school, or PAC 10, or Big East. And she's there when you leave, taking jumpers or waiting for yet another pick-up game.

Description: Cats are cool. Like a 50's finger-snappin' Broadway show. Those cats could dance. This cat can't. This cat is dead.

Description: Lovecraft blanched when he saw this (we'd like to think). When Clive Barker saw it he may have fainted, and Stephen King surely was just all grins. And you? Take your eyes away from it, before you can't.

Description: One doesn't have a mouth, the other has no arms. They don't let that stop them. An old boomer and a . . . who-knows-what, team up for your pixeled cartoon character delight in eleven and counting poses. Collect them all! No assembly required.

Description: Impartial, honest, nonpartisan, objective, apolitical. If the U.S. Supreme Court is not all of these things, it is broken.

Description: Lovecraft blanched when he saw this (we'd like to think). When Clive Barker saw it he may have fainted, and Stephen King surely was just all grins. And you? Take your eyes away from it, before you can't.

Description: A text-based MMORPG. They said GemStone would never last after EverQuest came out, and World of Warcraft, and Guild Wars. Yet it remains. How? It uses the power of words to run the best graphics engine ever created -- your mind.

Description: All winter long you dream of summer. Hot sunny days and lazy, care-free nights. Unless you live near the equator, then -- phffft -- ignore the above.

Description: Cats are cool. Like a 50's finger-snappin' Broadway show. Those cats could dance. This cat can't. This cat is dead.

Description: He has taken the test. He is the Test. He is the mysterious pixelated Test Man. Formed from a smear of pixels, he haunts the virtual space. Origin: A humble social art website. Location: Virtually everywhere. Objective: "Meme-dom." Pencils down.

Description: Whoa, you must've really screwed up this time. A sandwich is not enough -- it's one large shit pizza for you!

Description: Impartial, honest, nonpartisan, objective, apolitical. If the U.S. Supreme Court is not all of these things, it is broken.

Description: One doesn't have a mouth, the other has no arms. They don't let that stop them. An old boomer and a . . . who-knows-what, team up for your pixeled cartoon character delight in eleven and counting poses. Collect them all! No assembly required.

Description: Democracy is hard! Doing the right thing is not always the easy thing. In the halls of government, pleasing a few rich, powerful people is much easier than trying to please a population of millions ... and more profitable. Use the power of the ballot box to offset the influence of the wealthy one percent.

Description: The finest quality 100% genuine repurposed night soil. Recycling is a must these days. Do your civic duty and save money too. Bad for your breath but good for the environment. Some might find this beneath them. Who gives a squat. If they don't like it, they can eat THIS!

Description: We've all been there, if we're over 60 -- those moments of reaching into our memory for something and coming up empty, like your kindergarten teacher's name, or an old coach's name, or your name, or your planet's name. Curiously, that doesn't seem to matter so much anymore. Sometimes it's better to forget.