Tees Me Plz

Description: I've got a lot on my mind, not on my tongue. I'll speak when there's something to say.

Description: Nothing beats the people in charge telling you the things you want to hear. Disinformation is the best information.

Description: Working ain't so bad when the boss isn't a jerk. My boss knows my needs and hears my grievances like he could read my mind.

Description: They start younger ever year, negotiating, making deals, long before they know what quid pro quo means ... you know -- a favor for a favor, like you scratch my back, etc. Or a tit for tat. Well, that's the opposite, but I had to work it in somehow!

Description: Show your allegiance to the BEST country in the western hemisphere.

Description: For hauling the crap from the big orange cesspool.

Description: Prime sustenance for the student body and pre-eminent frat party potable. See you in Professor Kegger's class!

Description: He's known for his most prominent feature, and it's not the long, hard shaft he wields. One wonders why he roamed naked through the ancient forests at the dawn of time. We like to think of the giant as Lord Morningwood.

Description: Whoa, you must've really screwed up this time. A sandwich is not enough -- it's one large shit pizza for you!

Description: Who doesn't like a good dump? A satisfying poop is almost as enjoyable as the hot dogs, nachos, ribs, and fried chicken that produced it. But the dog is king of dumps. Though he may not sit on a throne, he has a servant to clean up afterwards.

Description: A text-based MMORPG. They said GemStone would never last after EverQuest came out, and World of Warcraft, and Guild Wars. Yet it remains. How? It uses the power of words to run the best graphics engine ever created -- your mind.

Description: They say it isn't possible. But I've done it. I've trained my cat to ignore every instruction given to him.

Description: Cats are cool. Like a 50's finger-snappin' Broadway show. Those cats could dance. This cat can't. This cat is dead.

Description: Lovecraft blanched when he saw this (we'd like to think). When Clive Barker saw it he may have fainted, and Stephen King surely was just all grins. And you? Take your eyes away from it, before you can't.

Description: Lovecraft blanched when he saw this (we'd like to think). When Clive Barker saw it he may have fainted, and Stephen King surely was just all grins. And you? Take your eyes away from it, before you can't.

Description: A text-based MMORPG. They said GemStone would never last after EverQuest came out, and World of Warcraft, and Guild Wars. Yet it remains. How? It uses the power of words to run the best graphics engine ever created -- your mind.

Description: All winter long you dream of summer. Hot sunny days and lazy, care-free nights. Unless you live near the equator, then -- phffft -- ignore the above.

Description: Cats are cool. Like a 50's finger-snappin' Broadway show. Those cats could dance. This cat can't. This cat is dead.

Description: Whoa, you must've really screwed up this time. A sandwich is not enough -- it's one large shit pizza for you!

Description: Democracy is hard! Doing the right thing is not always the easy thing. In the halls of government, pleasing a few rich, powerful people is much easier than trying to please a population of millions ... and more profitable. Use the power of the ballot box to offset the influence of the wealthy one percent.

Description: An old boomer minus his . . . who-knows-what pal, Butch, barefoot and lovin' it.