Description: Motivation Milk. 100% Hopeless. For the days you can’t even fake it. Contains: 2% ideas, 0% motivation, 110% caffeine, and a dash of denial. Side effects include procrastination, overthinking, and the sudden urge to rearrange your desktop. Results not guaranteed. Serving size: 1 cup. Servings per container: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ For the creatively fried, chronically online, and spiritually buffering. If this is in your cart, your brain already knows why. For external use only.
Description: “Current Status: do not approach. Time Remaining: please leave.” For everyone whose social battery died somewhere around the third conversation of the day. Recharging may take several business years. Avoid eye contact. Do not attempt small talk. Wonduh. Not for human consumption.
Description: “Last Save: that one good idea in 2021. Current Status: 47 tabs open, nothing working.” For everyone attempting to create who ended up rearranging their desktop instead. Warning: attempting to create may result in rearranging your desktop instead. Stare at walls. Open 12 more tabs. Wonduh. Not for human consumption.
Description: “CAUTION: CREATIVELY FRIED. Might stare at walls.” For everyone running on fumes and vibes. This one’s for the designers, illustrators, freelancers, and anyone whose brain has officially checked out but somehow still has three deadlines. Slap it on your laptop, your water bottle, or your forehead. Wonduh. For external use only.
